Morris County Maven

FEMA Aid Applications are Due by October 31, 2011 (Hurricane Irene)

2011-10-13T13:45:00.000-04:00

The Oct. 31 deadline is nearing for homeowners, renters and business owners to apply for federal aid to be used in recovering from physical damage caused by Hurricane Irene.

Small Business Administration spokesman Burl Kelton said $32,911,600 in aid to New Jersey businesses, homeowners and renters had been approved as of Monday. That sum reflects requests from 3,578 applicants, including 3,261 homeowners and renters and 317 businesses. The SBA has issued 61,820 applications to potential borrowers in the state but heard back so far from fewer than 4,000, Kelton said.

Small companies and most private, nonprofit organizations have until May 31 to apply to the SBA for aid with economic injury — help in meeting financial obligations that can’t be met as a direct result of the disaster that spanned Aug. 27 through Sept. 5. This aid is distinct from funds allotted for physical damage to property.

FEMA largely provides emergency, immediate assistance while the SBA provides long-term, low-interest loans to assist with recovery. But Kelton advised that anyone interested in financial assistance register first with FEMA before Oct. 31. In the event an application for SBA aid is turned down, a requester can be referred back to FEMA for possible help.

To register with FEMA, go to

www.disasterassistance.gov or call FEMA toll-free at 800-621-3362.

For more information about SBA disaster assistance, call 800-659-2955 or email disastercustomerservice@sba.gov. Applicants may apply online via SBA’s secure site at https://disasterloan.sba.gov/ela.

Pathways - Morris County Parks Newsletter - Fall 2011

2011-10-10T17:42:00.002-04:00

Fall 2011 Pathways

Family Fun Day at the Museum of Early Trades & Crafts

2011-10-09T12:50:00.001-04:00

October 29, 2011

On Saturday, October 29th from 1:00 pm to 3:00 pm, celebrate Halloween at the Museum of Early Trades & Crafts during the annual event, Tricks-N-Treats. Attend in costume, for a ghoulishly fun afternoon.

Have a hauntingly good time playing games, making crafts and nibbling on treats. Get your face painted and join one of the museum's Educators for some Halloween-themed story telling.

Guests are also encouraged to explore the new exhibit Whimsies: Ken Olsen & the American Folk Art Tradition.

Pre-registration is recommended.

For more information call 973-377-2982 x12 or visit www.metc.org

Events for Fall 2011 at Frelinghuysen Arboretum!

2011-10-09T11:56:00.000-04:00

Fri Oct 14
10:00a - 11:30a or
7:00p - 8:30p

Herbal Vinegar Workshop

Capture the essence of summer's herb garden in a trio of herbal vinegars. You will make them in 10 oz. glass bottles with cork tops that can be used again and again. Herbal vinegars are incredibly flavorful and make great gifts for the upcoming holidays. This year, we're using balsamic, red and white vinegars, as well as unusual varieties of thyme, including 'Lime' and 'French Market.' We'll even provide raffia to tie at the bottle's neck and give it that authentic artisanal look. (Register by October 1)
Location: Haggerty Center.
$20.00 Members / $25.00 Non-members

Sat Oct 15
10:00a - 12:30p

New Perennials and Nonstop Gardens with the "Perennial Diva"

Writer and teacher Stephanie Cohen brings humor and more than 20 years of teaching experience to the prodigious topic of perennials. Her breadth of knowledge and practical experience will help you to create the garden of your dreams. (Register by October 1)

Location: Haggerty Center.
$15.00 Members / $20.00 Non-members

Sun Oct 16
1:00p - 3:00p

Cooking with Quinces Demonstration

Once considered a food of the gods, quince seems to have fallen out of favor as of late. All of our grandmothers knew how to prepare them and they were once readily available. Now, they are not so easy to find but there are still a few growers left in New Jersey. Let's revive this fantastic fruit by learning how to cook them with Chef and Master Gardener Cynthia Triolo. They are so worth it! This cooking demonstration is sponsored by Whole Foods Market in Madison.
Location: Haggerty Center.
$20.00 Members / $25.00 Non-members

Fri Oct 21
5:00p -9:00p
Sat Oct 22 10:00a - 6:00p
and Sun Oct 23 10:00a - 5:00p

Morristown Craft Market and Fall Plant Sale
"See You At the Show"

Location: Morristown Armory

This Autumn at the ARTboretum

ARTboretum continues this autumn at The Frelinghuysen Arboretum as the visual arts come out to play for Halloween. Nelson Hancock's exhibit of charmingly evil cucurbits (that's pumpkins of all shapes and sizes) on the slate patio just outside the Haggerty Education Center is both whimsical and fascinatingly scary. Mr. Hancock, who teaches Visual Anthropology and Photography at Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, New York, has deftly carved a plethora of pumpkin and related gourds to keep our thorny and sharp edged succulents and agaves company through Halloween.

Bring your little trick or treater along in costume any day from Sunday, October 23 through Halloween for some great photo opps, inspiration with your own Jack-O- Lantern carving and a Halloween treat at our Front Desk!

Location: Haggerty Center.

Mon Oct 24
11:00a

Garden Sprouts - Fabulous Foliage

Look for six common tree leaves and learn why and how trees change color every fall.
Location: Haggerty Center.

Giralda 2011 - Music and Arts Festival

2011-06-20T13:24:00.000-04:00

Giralda 2011 Enjoy a concert by the New Jersey Symphony Orchestra (with Opera NJ soloists) under the baton of Gerald Steichen on the gracious lawns of Giralda Farms in Madison, NJ. Gates open early for picnics and activities, including an art show/sale and children’s book readings and signings.

Gates open at 4pm for picnics, activities. Please also check the website!
Concert begins at 6pm.

Tickets are required:
Adults: $15
Children (ages 4-16): $5
Children under 4 are free

New iPod, iPad App - Morristown Walking Tour

2011-05-18T07:21:00.001-04:00

Morris County Tourism Officials announced a new Walking Tour of Morristown. This can be downloaded as a FREE app onto your iPod or iPad. Here is the link to the Apple iTunes Store for the download.

Shredding for Safety - Morris Plains Library - April 23, 2011 (Sat.)

2011-04-14T10:53:00.000-04:00

Prevent identity theft and have your personal documents shredded safely.

Morris Plains Library is located at 77 Glenbrook Road, Morris Plains (off of Speedwell Avenue.)

Come to the Library on April 23, 2011, from 9 a.m. until noon. Security Shredding, a fully bonded and insured company, will destroy personal documents while you watch, using state-of-the-art shredding equipment. A donation of $5 is requested for each box of documents measuring approximately 14" x 18" x 10"

Proceeds from the event will go toward a new copy machine for the library and the summer petting zoo.

Save yourself worry and anguish, shred your docs!

VFW Benefit Concert for Fisher House

2011-03-21T23:36:00.002-04:00

VFW Benefit Concert for Fisher House

VFW Post 3401
45 Tabor Rd, Morris Plains, NJ 07950
Phone: 973-583-3264
Saturday, March 26
7:30 p.m. - 11:00 p.m.

Ticket Pricing: $8 at the Post; $10 at the door.

Benefit concert for Fisher House featuring Chas Ricci, songwriter, singer of country and humorous music and GivBac playing classic rock and blues. Door prizes. $8 at the Post; $10 at the door. Sponsored by Watnong VFW Post 3401.

Matilda’s Bunny Brunch and Ten Carrot Tea Party (Frelinghuysen Arboretum)

2011-02-04T19:01:00.003-05:00

Matilda’s Bunny Brunch and Ten Carrot Tea Party
Saturday, March 19
1:30 p.m.
$30

The Frelinghuysen Arboretum
353 E. Hanover Ave.
Morristown, NJ
To Register: 973.326.7603

"Once upon a time there were four little Rabbits, and their names were--Flopsy, Mopsy, Cotton-tail, and Peter." These are the creation of Beatix Potter, who wrote her famous animal books, in 1902 when Matilda Frelinghuysen was a child. Although The Frelinghuysen Arboretum does have rabbits in its gardens, they are not of the Beatrix Potter variety. But on March 19 you can learn about these garden visitors at the 8th Annual Matilda’s Tea.

Rabbit Breeder, Susan Prisco from Triple Creek Rabbits will speak about rabbits both wild and domestic. Several of the rabbit breeds, including Rex and Holland Lop, will be attending the party. Tea takers can then share an elegant tea with their favorite young person. Afterwards, each young party guest will make a spring time garden craft at this annual event as everyone ushers in spring and chases the naughty outside rabbits away.

Recommended for age 6 and up. Snow date is March 20.

Coping with the Governor’s Education Cuts

2011-01-18T11:36:00.002-05:00

Senator Buono is hosting an Education Forum which is being held this Thursday, January 20th at Edison High School from 6 - 8:30 pm. The premise of the forum is to get a real world view of the impact the Governor's $1 billion education cut has had on public education from parents, students, teachers and the public. The forum is open to the public anyone that wants to testify or just attend may do so. If you plan on testifying at the hearing you may contact us to leave your name or just arrive at the hearing and sign in.

BUONO, DIEGNAN AND BARNES TO HOLD EDISON PUBLIC HEARING ON IMPACT OF GOVERNOR’S CUTS TO PUBLIC EDUCATION

Senator Barbara Buono, Assemblyman Patrick Diegnan and Assemblyman Peter Barnes will hold a public hearing in Edison this Thursday, Jan. 20, to give students, parents, teachers and residents an opportunity to share how the Governor’s $1 billion cut to public education has impacted their lives and their schools.

“Governor Christie’s public school cuts have had a devastating effect on many educational and extra-curricular programs our students have enjoyed and benefited from for years,” said Senator Buono (D-Middlesex). “I’ve been hearing from parents and students alike about the impact of these cuts and feel their stories are vital in order to help gain a full appreciation of the consequences these cuts have had on education.”

As the author of New Jersey’s School Funding Reform Act of 2008, Buono expressed concern with what she described as the Governor’s “complete dismantling” of the funding formula that was recently upheld as constitutional by the New Jersey Supreme Court “As we begin to craft the budget for the next fiscal year, it is vital that we understand the impact that the Governor’s last budget has had on our schools,” said Buono. “All members of the public are invited to attend and share their stories for the public record.”

Who: Senator Barbara Buono, Assemblyman Patrick Diegnan, Assemblyman Peter Barnes

What: Public hearing, “Coping with the Governor’s Education Cuts”

When: Thursday, January 20, 2011 from 6PM – 8:30PM

Where:

Edison High School Auditorium
50 Boulevard of the Eagles
Edison, NJ 08817

Greystone Park Association - New Location

2010-11-28T14:23:00.001-05:00

The GPA Thrift Store now has a NEW WEBSITE and a NEW LOCATION. Please check it out, www.gpathrift.org, for information, featured items for sale, and upcoming events.

Greystone Park Association (GPA)

Greystone Park Psychiatric Hosp
at Cottage 12
59 Koch Avenue
Morris Plains, NJ 07950
www.gpathrift.org

NJ Governor's Environmental Stance

2010-06-21T10:45:00.002-04:00

From the New Jersey Environmental Federation.

Since elected, the governor has on multiple occasions publicly reaffirmed his environmental commitments to NJEF and the state including just saying:

No to:

Off-shore drilling
LNG facilities of any kind
The Delaware River Deepening, and
The Linden coal plant based on environmental justice and other concerns,

AND

Yes to:

Aggressive NJ-based development, both production and manufacturing, of clean renewables like wind [on and off shore] and solar,
Re-evaluating hundreds of miles of candidate Category 1 [c1] and other waters not previously approved to be upgraded to c1,
Additional pollution reductions including requiring clean diesel equipment at publicly funded construction sites,
Stopping the poisoning of Barnegat Bay from fertilizer and other pollutants,
Giving cumulative impact greater weight in DEP decision-making, and
Fixing cooling systems at both the Oyster Creek and Salem nuclear plants.
The Christie administration has also innovatively used various tools at its disposal at the state, regional and federal level to go after Exelon for radioactive tritium leaks at Oyster Creek, New York City garbage trucks on NJ streets, and a Pennsylvania coal plant.

The State Legislature and the Environment

In January, the Democratic-controlled "lame duck" legislature wrapped up an already very disappointing 2 year session with a double whammy. They passed 2 major anti-environmental bills at the last minute. One would severely delay and weaken one of Governor Corzine's few significant environmental achievements - updating the state's 2 decade old wastewater rules (6 other attempted updates over 20 years failed!). The other would extend the 2008 Permit Extension Act further undermining local decision-making and modern, science-based environmental and public health and safety protections.

After promising to support both and then neither, Governor Corzine in the end signed the permit extension bill, but vetoed the wastewater bill!

Kudos to Assembly Environment Chair McKeon and newly appointed EPA Region II Administrator Judith Enck for working hard to weaken both bills. Not to be deterred, the new legislature started to push the wastewater bill again in February. McKeon and Enck teamed up with the new NJ Department of Environmental Protection (NJDEP) Commissioner Bob Martin to kill the bill.

Meanwhile, Assemblyman John Burzicelli, chair of the recently re-created Regulatory Oversight Committee, appears intent on weakening environmental protections despite assertions to the contrary. The bills he is pushing make it harder for New Jersey to go beyond weak federal standards, NJDEP to provide regulatory guidance without going through burdensome rule-making, and more.

There is some good news on the legislative front. The new Senate Majority Leader Barbara Buono, one of the few environmental champs in the Legislature, has been critical of Burzicelli's efforts. McKeon joined by Assemblyman Chivukula (chair of the Assembly Utilities Committee) and Senator Bob Smith (chair of the Senate Environment and Energy Committee) are working together on a package of solar, wind and energy efficiency bills, as well as a measure to stop the pollution runoff entering Barnegat Bay.

Unfortunately, even these relatively modest efforts are far from a done deal, especially given the state's budget deficit and economic downturn. Even if the "millionaire's tax" is restored, as in our view it should be, it would only generate $650 million to $1 billion of the $10 billion budget shortfall, 1/3 of the state budget. It is not enough to reinstate the clean energy funds, school aid, and safety net programs for seniors.

Yet, there is much the state can do that will clean up the environment, create green jobs for an emerging economy, and save taxpayer dollars. The state house should work to attract green businesses, as well as have the power to "just say no" to backward thinking projects - such as new coal plants, sprawling McMansions, and garbage incinerator expansions. Regrettably, much needed environmental advances aren't even on the table while major attacks are.

NJ Libraries Eliminated From State Budget

2010-04-01T13:42:00.002-04:00

NJ Libraries Eliminated From State Budget

Gov. Christie's budget calls for a 74% decrease in funding for statewide library services. This cut includes the elimination of all statewide library programs and services. This will affect all types of libraries in New Jersey. Once state funding is eliminated, NJ will lose $4.5 million in federal funding. What does this mean to NJ residents? Once state and federal funding are lost the impact will be felt by all residents:

Access to electronic databases such as RefUSA and EBSCO will cease
Statewide interlibrary loan and delivery of library materials will cease
Put back one dollar for each NJ citizen and the 74% cuts to libraries would be restored!
Libraries will lose 50% of state aid at a time when demand for services is increasing dramatically
More than half of public libraries will lose access to the Internet
Many libraries will lose email service
Many libraries will lose their websites or access to them
The Talking Book and Braille Center (known as the Library for the Blind and Physically Handicapped) will close
Group contracts which bring down the cost of other electronic resources purchased by libraries will cease
At the same time the state is eliminating funding for library programs. Assemblyman John DiMaio has introduced A2555 which eliminates the minimum local funding requirement for municipal public libraries.

This assault on libraries must be stopped! Here is what you need to know:

160,242 people enter a NJ library every day

The $10 million in library programs cut from the Governor's budget represent little more than $1 per capita in state funds.

Library programs have been flat funded for 20 years so it is hard to believe these small programs have caused the state's current fiscal crisis.

Local library funding targeted in A2555 typically represents less than 3% of local property taxes.

What can you do?

Become a Library Champion. Join the Facebook group Save NJ Libraries and check for updates on our efforts.

Call or send a message to the Governor (609) 292-6000, your State Senator and Assembly representatives opposing the elimination of funding for library programs and A2555.

Assembly and Governor contacts: http://capwiz.com/ala/nj/home/

When you become a Library Champion we promise that we will only use your email address to contact you on issues affecting library service. Please join us in preserving library service in New Jersey.

New Jersey Libraries - Busier Than Ever

According to the latest data your public library is a very busy place.

48,531,094 annual visits to public library
59,800,386 items checked out- up 4 million from last year
8,405,278 questions asked
3,686,779 programs attended
144,105 NJ children read 1,992,427 books during summer reading last year.
68% of the American Public have a library card
83% of New Jersey residents say funding public libraries is a good investment (source: 2007 Potomac Public Opinion Survey)
71% of New Jersey residents believe a public library is an essential service for the community- not a cultural amenity. (source: 2007 Potomac Public Opinion survey)

New Jersey Transit Rate Hike Hearings - Morristown

2010-03-24T17:21:00.003-04:00

Take Action!

Where are the hearings? Morristown will be at:

MORRISTOWN
Morristown Town Hall - Senior Community Center (3rd Fl.)
200 South Street, Morristown, NJ
on March 26, 2010 from 5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

March 25, 5:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.: Paterson, Newark, Trenton, Manalapan

March 26, 5:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.: Secaucus, Morristown, Camden, Long Branch, New York City

March 27, 1 p.m. - 4 p.m.: Hackensack, Atlantic City, East Brunsick.

Attend a hearing: Get details on hearing times and places.

Speak out online: Comment on NJ Transit's plan (Use the Online Comment Form link).

We hope that you can join us at the hearings! State decision makers need to hear that this unfair plan will cause financial pain and make it harder to get around the state. We understand that taking time out from your day to speak at a hearing is a big commitment. Transit officials and politicians recognize this too, which is why attending hearings can make a big difference. Just ask New Yorkers-their transit agency just canceled a slew of planned service cuts after thousands of people spoke out.

Especially heinous are the cuts that will eradicate almost all NJ Transit Morris County buses. These buses provide the only transportation that some people are able to afford to get to college, work, social service agencies, food banks, abused women's shelters, the Morristown Hospital and their doctors. Please protest these service cuts.

If you can't make it, you can comment on NJ Transit's website until Monday, March 29.

Please help us send a message by attending a hearing or by speaking out online!

Thank you!

Frelinghuysen Arboretum - Garden Art Swap and Lecture

2010-03-23T10:46:00.002-04:00

Program: Garden Art Swap and Lecture
Date: Sunday, April 25
Time: Noon – 4 pm
Location: Haggerty Education Center
The Frelinghuysen Arboretum
53 East Hanover Avenue, Morristown, NJ
Cost: $3.00

Garden Art Swap and Lecture

Everyone has some kind of unwanted decorative garden object and the Garden Art Swap is the place for them. Objects can include decorative containers, pottery, garden signs, statues, etc. And yes, pink flamingoes but nothing over 40 pounds, please! Swap items will be accepted from Noon - 1 pm at which time you will be given Trading Points.

At 1 pm, Pegi Ballister-Howells, author and radio host, will give a talk on “Four Seasons of Color”. From 2 pm - 4 pm you can exchange your Trading Points for others’ gently used treasures.

To learn about other events at The Frelinghuysen Arboretum, please visit their web site at www.arboretumfriends.org.
Horticulture Education Programs or http://www.MorrisParks.Net

Morris County Local buses Discontinued!

2010-03-10T13:06:00.004-05:00

The following Morris County Local buses operated by private carriers will be discontinued as of May 1, 2010:

-- MCM 1: Morristown to the Willowbrook Mall

-- MCM 2: Morristown to County College of Morris

-- MCM 3: Morristown, Morris Township to the Livingston, Short Hills malls

-- MCM 4: Dover to Honeywell campus, Morris Twp.

-- MCM 5: Morristown to Rockaway Townsquare mall

-- MCM 7: Milton to K-mart Plaza on Route 10, Victory Gardens

Three Morris/Warren Minibuses — 966, 973, 967 — will also be discontinued.

This is absolutely unfair to seniors and workers in the Morristown area. I am wondering if this is blowback from NJ Transit to Christie for the NJ Transit cuts. As usual, seniors and the working poor suffer. Here is the bus schedule and areas covered for these buses.

Morris Habitat plans to send shelter kits to Haiti

2010-02-25T15:21:00.000-05:00

The Morris Habitat ReStore is leading a campaign to collect at least $2,500 from local residents to pay for 10 emergency shelter kits for the people in Haiti affected by the devastating earthquake that struck on January 12. You can contribute now by clicking the “Pay Now” button to send a secure online credit card donation via PayPal.

March Concerts at the Morris County Library

2010-02-04T09:21:00.002-05:00

Concerts take place at the Morris County Library Saturday, March 6th and 13th:

Serenata Trio (flute, guitar and violin), Saturday, Mar. 6th, 3PM, play a program of Italian composers, Fera Italia

Sospiro Winds, string ensemble, peform March 13th, Saturday, 3PM.

Free Morris County Libary Movies - February and March

2010-02-04T09:18:00.004-05:00

Friday Films, 2PM
films are free and seating will be on a first-come, first-served basis [public meeting room]

February: Black History Month
Amistad 1998, R, 2hrs, 35m
Lady Sings the Blues 1972, R, 2hrs, 24m
Cry the Beloved Country 1995, PG-13, 1hr 51m
Ali, 2001, R, 2hr 37m

March: Irish Films
The Boxer 1997, R, 1hr, 54m
Veronica Guerin 1972, R, 1hr, 38m
Far and Away 1995, PG-13, 2hrs 20m
Good Will Hunting, 2001, R, 2hrs 2m

Morris County Library - Walk and Talk

2010-01-14T11:20:00.001-05:00

Greystone Then and Now
Tuesday January 26 at 11:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.
presented by Preserve Greystone

Geri Silk facilitator

Interactive Gallery tour based on the photography on display in the library's second floor gallery, followed by audience participatory discussion.

TOR Books

2010-01-11T12:36:00.000-05:00

Morris Museum's Model Trains Gallery REOPENS!

2009-12-22T12:15:00.003-05:00

Winter Festival
Model Trains Gallery Opening
Sunday December 27 Noon - 4 p.m.

Enjoy a day of winter fun for the whole family at the Morris Museum’s Winter Family Festival. The festival is included with museum admission, and is free for museum members.

Train enthusiasts of all ages can experience the romance of the rails in the reopening of the Morris Museum's Model Trains Gallery. This permanent exhibition, All Aboard! Railroads Real and Imagined opens with a ribbon cutting ceremony at noon.

Children and adults are invited to visit the Model Trains and to participate in special activities:

Explore hands-on activities in our new, permanent Model Train gallery
Make a train picture frame
Design a railroad
Make your own snowflake
Create a snowman
Decorate a sleigh bell
Enjoy a performance by the Brightest Star Carolers
Listen to a 'train conductor' read the holiday favorite, The Polar Express

Also on 12/27, The Bayer Children’s Theatre Series at the Morris Museum’s Bickford Theatre presents Santa Claus Meets the Wicked Wizard. This fun-filled musical comedy is a holiday treat for the whole family.
Shows at 12:30 p.m. and 2:30 p.m. All tickets: $8

Toys For Tots at the Morris County Library

2009-11-21T16:10:00.003-05:00

The Morris County Sheriff's (for the Marine Corps) Toys for Tots drive starts at the Morris County Library on Monday, runs through 12/11.

Congratulations Governor Christie! NJ State and Municipal Employees - Update your Resumes!

2009-11-04T13:27:00.032-05:00

The election for the Governorship of New Jersey is finally over. Thousands of hours of negative campaigning and commercial advertising have led to a Chris Christie (R) victory over incumbent Jon Corzine (D). None of the three candidates offered particularly appealed to New Jersey residents as evidenced by the pathetic voter turnout. There was little to be excited about. The choices were "Christie: He May Be A Fat Republican But He's OUR Fat Republican!" versus "Corzine - At Least I'm Not Gay Like The Last Guy!" versus "Daggett: I Am SO NOT a Third Party Spoiler Candidate!"

So as someone who did vote (albeit unenthusiastically) I wondered what sort of ramifications a Christie governorship would entail, I was surprised that the voter turnout wasn't a bit more robust in favor of Corzine by New Jersey State employees. Remember all the whining about furloughs? Well, that's going to look like the "good old days" after Christie takes office.

Take a look at his future mandates (garnered from his website [http://www.christiefornj.com/about/88-ways-chris-christie-will-fix-nj.html]:

88 WAYS CHRIS CHRISTIE WILL FIX NEW JERSEY
(I've just listed the ones that I find interesting)

MAKING EVERY DOLLAR COUNT

SEVEN:
I will run our state government like a business by having the State Auditor conduct regular performance reviews on all state programs, local governments and school districts to ensure they are performing their intended purpose with respect and care for tax dollars.

TRANSLATION: I'm going to get my hands dirty and strip local and municipal governments and school districts of state funds if I disagree with their ideology or political bias. I will feel free to nose in on our schools (subsidized in large part by our property taxes and make bizarre little changes to the status quo.

EIGHT:
I will recoup wasted taxpayer dollars by appointing a Special Prosecutor to conduct a thorough audit of government programs and will seek reimbursement of misspent funds until our State Auditor is in place.

TRANSLATION:
Do you like your state job? Not for long, I am going to appoint an attorney to take a fine-toothed comb to all your programs and expenses and require all back-up on employee purchases be signed in quadruplicate by at least two administrators on permanent leave. MWAHAHAHAHAH!

TEN:
I will eliminate wasteful and inappropriate state purchases by appointing a “Taxpayer Advocate” in the Division of Purchase and Property to audit each and every government purchase order until our State Auditor is in place. No more $600 cellphones for state employees.

TRANSLATION: No new purchases that advocate anything the Religious Right may disagree with, no new school playgrounds or parks if they are in urban areas (he's a Morris County Republican, what do you think will happen?) etc. Does your state agency have a budget that it routinely rubberstamps? Yeah, that's done. Prepare to be inundated with bizarre questions from clueless, overpaid auditing drones who examine your procurement database with a fine-toothed comb but miss the big picture. Social services and teachers will suffer disproportionately, those in the urban areas (Newark, Camden, Trenton, Jersey City) where the "poor people" hang out, even more so.

ELEVEN:
I will require a “sunset” provision of four years on any new or expanded program and veto spending for any new (or expanded) program that doesn’t include such a provision. I’ll measure the performance of each and every government program. If a program isn’t serving taxpayers efficiently and effectively, I’ll eliminate it.

TRANSLATION: Say "goodbye" to S-Chip also known as NJ Family Care . Did you lose your job and your kids don't have healthcare? Sucks to be you!

THIRTEEN:
I will save taxpayer dollars and end political cronyism by eliminating political patronage jobs (at least the ones held by members of the Democratic party).

TRANSLATION: If you or your office is even semi-liberal or if you we appointed by Corzine, prepare for a bloodbath. Also prepare to have senior management replaced with more ideologically-friendly individuals, i.e. lots of Conservative Republicans. See George W. Bush circa 2001.

FOURTEEN:
I will lower overtime costs by reducing the number of state holidays and eliminating those not recognized as federal holidays.

TRANSLATION: Say goodbye to Lincoln's Birthday (I think Corzine actually swapped this one out with the day after Thanksgiving), Good Friday (What Would Jesus Say?), Election Day and the Day After Thanksgiving.

Current New Jersey State Holidays = 13, New and improved post-Christie New Jersey State Holidays = 10.

FIFTEEN:
I will increase efficiency and lower costs by changing to a single, unitary approach to state public employee compensation, benefits, and work rules – ending the separate statutes governing health benefits, antiquated civil service rules, and the collective bargaining agreements.

TRANSLATION:
Remember all the healthcare, pension and vacation options you used to have? Yeah, those days are GONE! Prepare for (gulp!) doctor co-pays and (gulp!) deductions from your paycheck for mandatory healthcare contributions!

SIXTEEN:
I will fight pension abuse, starting with the removal of more than 300 political appointees who are a part of the pension system by virtue of being paid to attend monthly meetings of boards and commissions of which they are members.

TRANSLATION: Prepare for the coming Democrat bloodbath.

SEVENTEEN:
I will increase fairness and reduce costs by bringing the compensation and benefits for the New Jersey Public Employees Retirement System (PERS) back in line with employees who have defined contribution plans (such as federal government employees) by closing defined benefit plan for new state employees, and replacing them with defined contribution plans. Only state workers who would have been enrolled in PERS will be placed in the existing defined contribution plan and this change would not apply to first responders, police or firemen, teachers, local government PERS or members of other retirement systems.

TRANSLATION: See Number Fifteen. Note that if I win the election I will forget the section regarding it's non-application to police, firemen, teachers, etc.

EIGHTEEN:
I will eliminate pension and health benefits for all part-time employees and political appointees. Only full-time employees should qualify for a public pension.

TRANSLATION: If you are a money-saving part-timer who is saving your state or municipality a full-timer's salary by being a part-timer, it's time to look for employment elsewhere as you have no more access to state benefits. Single parent? Sucks for you. If you have part-timers in your office, get ready to do their job as more and more leave in order to find jobs with benefits. Will these jobs be replaced? I don't know, how soon is it before Christie or your municipality/school district enacts a hiring freeze?

NINETEEN:
I will require all new state hires and state employee retirees to contribute to their health insurance costs.

TRANSLATION: Sorry, I'm totally in favor of this one although it counts as a negative to new hires and retirees. It certainly makes you wish you meandered to the polls and VOTED FOR CORZINE! (ahem...)

TWENTY:
I will implement aggressive economic growth strategies via public-private partnerships like the “New Jersey Partnership for Action.” The Partnership for Action will save taxpayer dollars by consolidating Trenton’s many inefficient and ineffective fragmented economic development activities into one single agency.

TRANSLATION: Prepare to be pink-slipped if you are a Democrat or were appointed by Corzine.

TWENTY ONE:
I will further consolidate and streamline government by eliminating the position of “Chief of the Office of Economic Growth.”

TRANSLATION: Because THAT LOSER happens to be a Democrat and as we all know, New Jersey certainly doesn't need any of that stinkin' Economic Growth right now.

FIXING GOVERNMENT

TWENTY FIVE:
I will reform New Jersey’s boards and commissions by only appointing those without conflicts of interest, refusing to create boards and commissions where the memberships create new conflicts of interest, and implementing statutory changes (as needed) to remove any current agency members with conflicts of interest.

TRANSLATION: All Democrats have conflicts of interest because they are not Republican and I am.

TWENTY SIX:
I will hold government officials accountable for their actions by requiring any elected or appointed official convicted of a crime connected to their official position to forfeit their pension benefits.

TRANSLATION: If you are a Democrat, try not to get a parking ticket.

TWENTY SEVEN:
I will strengthen our weak “pay to play” laws by eliminating special interest labor union loopholes to ensure labor unions are treated just like any other entities that have contracts with government.

TRANSLATION: Time to grind the unions into dust for not supporting me, this will make the RNCC sit up and take notice come 2012!

THIRTY:
I will increase honesty and openness in government by requiring fully searchable and transparent websites for all state and local governments and school districts, providing links to property records and taxes, government payrolls, expenditures, school performance report cards, and other information. All information would be accessible to the public no later than 45 days following the close of each fiscal year.

TRANSLATION:
We have this already. However, the tight 45 day reporting timeframe will be a nightmare for all smaller school districts and municipalities without a dedicated administrator or accountant.

THIRTY TWO:
I will allow voters the opportunity to access candidates’ Personal Financial Disclosure Statements online. Currently, these Statements can only be accessed in person, in Trenton. I’ve already proactively posted my Statement on this website to allow you the opportunity to view my financial background.

TRANSLATION:
If you are a candidate running for New Jersey office, prepare to be Identity Thefted.

CUTTING TAXES

THIRTY THREE:
I will cut New Jersey’s income taxes across the board for all taxpayers. Our tax rates are oppressive and are driving residents out of state. No more.

TRANSLATION: I will pacify my Republican overlords and donors but I still have absolutely no clue where the missing revenue will be coming from.

THIRTY EIGHT:
I will help New Jersey’s small businesses lower health insurance costs by allowing the purchase of health insurance policies from out-of-state insurance companies that offer better rates or better coverage. More competition and more consumer choice will lower costs.

TRANSLATION: Out-of-State Insurance Companies are not legally mandated to obey New Jersey State health insurance regulations regarding the provision of mammograms, lab tests, pre-natal care, etc. Hospitals and Doctors fearing non-coverage of treatment will refuse to accept these out-of-state plans leading to mass consumer confusion when a "low-cost" plan from Texas covers nothing about a hospital stay except a $200.00 per diem cost of lodging. (These plans really do exist and they are scary!) Prepare to be bamboozled with plans that promise the world and deliver nothing when it comes time to pay out.

THIRTY NINE:
I will provide relief from our state’s overbearing regulations – restoring balance and fairness – by creating a permanent “Red Tape Review Group.” The “Red Tape Review Group” will bring both elected branches of government together in a bi-partisan fashion to perform a top-to-bottom overhaul of New Jersey’s Administrative Code.

TRANSLATION: "Red Tape Review Group" = Republican Revenge Red Tape Review Group. I also don't think that Christie has the authority to do this without buy-in from the Assembly.

FOURTY NINE
I will make our state more affordable for consumers and businesses by making it more difficult to file class action lawsuits for frivolous reasons.

TRANSLATION: I don't give a fuck about plaintiff's attorneys in New Jersey who file class-action lawsuits or care to quantify state tax revenue which is garnered from such large class-action legal settlements. Where we will get the tax dollars to offset this policy is a mystery to me.

EDUCATING OUR CHILDREN

FIFTY TWO:
I will devote more resources to assist parents and educators attempting to start new charter schools by utilizing my revamped Department of Education (DOE) to encourage and nurture those seeking to start a charter school.

TRANSLATION: Teachers, see your funding go bye-bye as your school enrollment drops due to student enrollment in shady religious-based charter schools managed by individuals with dubious on-line university credentials.

FIFTY THREE:
I will appoint a Commissioner of the Department of Education whose priority will be approving high-quality charter school applications, unlike the Corzine Administration, who in 2008 approved only one of twenty-two applications.

TRANSLATION: Wow! Corzine approved one!?! Teachers, see your funding go bye-bye as your school enrollment drops due to student enrollment in shady religious-based charter schools managed by individuals with dubious on-line university credentials.

FIFTY FOUR:
I will ensure that the application of the school funding law treats charter schools fairly, and that state aid follows the child to the charter school, as the law intended.

TRANSLATION: Teachers, see your funding go bye-bye as your school enrollment drops due to student enrollment in shady religious-based charter schools managed by individuals with dubious on-line university credentials.

SIXTY EIGHT:
I will help more New Jerseyans afford health insurance by permitting insurance companies to offer “mandate-free” policies. These policies might better fit the needs of some consumers who may not need extravagant benefits, such as young or single consumers.

TRANSLATION: Out-of-State Insurance Companies are not legally mandated to obey New Jersey State health insurance regulations regarding the provision of mammograms, lab tests, pre-natal care, etc. Hospitals and Doctors fearing non-coverage of treatment will refuse to accept these out-of-state plans leading to mass consumer confusion when a "low-cost" plan from Texas covers nothing about a hospital stay except a $200.00 per diem cost of lodging. (These plans really do exist and they are scary!) Prepare to be bamboozled with plans that promise the world and deliver nothing when it comes time to pay out. The average insurance consumer will have no legal or administrative recourse when faced with denial for healthcare by an out-of-state insurance company.

SIXTY NINE:
I will reduce the cost of health insurance for small businesses by allowing national trade associations and membership organizations that have health plans to market to their New Jersey members.

TRANSLATION: Out-of-State Insurance Companies are not legally mandated to obey New Jersey State health insurance regulations regarding the provision of mammograms, lab tests, pre-natal care, etc. Hospitals and Doctors fearing non-coverage of treatment will refuse to accept these out-of-state plans leading to mass consumer confusion when a "low-cost" plan from Texas covers nothing about a hospital stay except a $200.00 per diem cost of lodging. (These plans really do exist and they are scary!) Prepare to be bamboozled with plans that promise the world and deliver nothing when it comes time to pay out. The average insurance consumer will have no legal or administrative recourse when faced with denial for healthcare by an out-of-state insurance company.

BRINGING BACK OUR CITIES
TRANSLATION: I WILL CRUSH THESE TRADITIONALLY DEMOCRAT STRONGHOLDS. MWAHAHAHAHHA!

SEVENTY:
I will implement my innovative program, CityTrak, to measure progress and enforce accountability in the areas of education, economic development and crime. CityTrak will combine organizational development with data and geographic systems technology. If a program is working, it will stay in place; if a program isn’t working, we’ll get rid of it. With the implementation of CityTrak in our urban communities, failure will no longer be an option.

TRANSLATION: PLUS GOOD, DOUBLE PLUS GOOD, PLUS GOOD, DOUBLE PLUS GOOD. This is a great way for me to manipulate statistics and withhold funds from the urban centers of New Jersey while transferring them to my republican cronies in the suburbs.

SEVENTY ONE:
I will institute the “First Houses” Program to foster growth policies that encourage rapid new population influxes to generate a true re-birth of our cities.

TRANSLATION: My Republican cronies and their bank shareholders will reap the benefits of investing in those Newark, Trenton, Jersey City and Camden foreclosures.

SEVENTY TWO:
I will exempt new residents living within Garden State Growth Zones from New Jersey’s gross income tax to attract people to our urban communities and encourage new market-rate residential housing.

TRANSLATION: If you are in the highest tax bracket in New Jersey and want to avoid paying income taxes, buy an apartment in Jersey City or Elizabeth and list it as your primary residence while keeping your McMansion in Mendham or Alpine (after switching it into your mother's name). How this missing tax revenue is to going to be made up is a mystery to us all...

SEVENTY THREE:
I will keep the most dangerous criminals off of the streets by proposing an amendment to the New Jersey Constitution that will mirror federal bail laws and permit pre-trial preventive detention based on public safety concerns.

TRANSLATION: Say goodbye to habeas corpus. A writ of habeas corpus is a judicial mandate requiring that a prisoner be brought before the court to determine whether the government has the right to continue detaining them. The individual being held or their representative can petition the court for such a writ. According to Article One of the Constitution, the right to a writ of habeas corpus can only be suspended in cases of rebellion or invasion or the public safety. Christie's contention is that pre-trial preventive detention is a public safety concern. What if the police have arrested the wrong person or if a police officer has a grudge against an innocent citizen? I"m not sure if I trust the government of New Jersey enough to justify the suspension of the writ of habeas corpus. Who defines "the most dangerous criminals?" - Christie? A prosecutor as yet unnamed? We should trust the judiciary system enough to deny bail when the prosecutors and the judge determine that the individual should be refused bail due to the severity of his/her crimes and flight risk. Anything else would be unconstitutional and in violation of the precepts of our Founding Fathers. Christie is not above the law on this issue.

SEVENTY SIX:
I will create new programs that provide alternatives to gang membership, facilitated by community groups, faith-based groups, and other local institutions.

TRANSLATION: This is how I intend to secretly funnel state funds to my Republican cronies on the religious right.

SEVENTY SEVEN:
I will create gang prevention programs in schools that focus on the dangers and consequences of gang membership, as well as after-school programs.

TRANSLATION: This is how I intend to secretly funnel state funds to my Republican cronies on the religious right.

SEVENTY EIGHT:
I will create and train local neighborhood watch groups to report gang activity.

TRANSLATION: So I can transfer/layoff more police officers from these distressed urban areas and shift the burden onto the (Democratic) ACORN-loving, unpatriotic, socialist, terrorist-sympathizing citizen watch groups.

EIGHTY:
I will create Garden State Growth Zones to streamline and make available all incentives, tax breaks, loans and grants to all municipalities in the program.

TRANSLATION: Membership in the Garden State Growth Zones will require a hefty donation to CHRISTIEPAC2012.

I will admit, Christie was endorsed by the Sierra Club so he can't be a complete waste of chromosomal material. We'll see in four years how this all turns out. On one hand, I realize that New Jersey needs to reign in a succession of political appointees and assorted dead weight. On the other hand, New Jersey has not contributed to it's employee healthcare fund or pension fund adequately since Governor Jim Florio (D). Republican Christine Todd Whitman (R), running on a tax-cutting platform, defeated Florio in the 1993 governor's race. To help pay for her promised tax cuts, Whitman, like her predecessor, turned to the pension fund. In 1994, at her urging, the legislature adopted another pension "reform" act that allowed her to reduce state and local contributions to the plan by nearly $1.5 billion in 1994 and 1995 (source is the prior link from cnn.com). Can Governor-elect Chris Christie fix the pension underfunding and enable New Jersey state workers to retire comfortably? I sure hope so. However, my psychic powers are whispering "PENSION BONDS, PENSION BONDS..."

New N.J. program sends emergency alerts via email, text message

2009-09-03T18:13:00.001-04:00

New N.J. program sends emergency alerts via email, text message
by Chris Megerian/Statehouse Bureau
Thursday September 03, 2009, 12:47 PM

Tony Kurdzuk/The Star-Ledger
NJ State Police Superintendent Rick Fuentes issued a release today about NJ Alert, where residents can sign up for emergency alerts.
TRENTON -- New Jersey residents can sign up for emergency alerts from state law enforcement and homeland security agencies, state officials announced today. Alerts involving hurricanes, evacuations or terrorist attacks can be received via email or text message through the service, called NJ Alert.

"During an emergency, timely dissemination of accurate information is the cornerstone of public safety," Rick Fuentes, State Police superintendent and director of the New Jersey Office of Emergency Management, said in a statement.

People can sign up for alerts at www.ready.nj.gov. Nicholas Morici, spokesman for the OEM, said the service was provided to the state for free by Professor Robert Statica at the New Jersey Institute of Technology.

"This is totally free not only to the state but to users," he said.

Morici said other states like New York have already implemented similar email and text messaging services.

New Jersey currently uses radio broadcasts to announce emergencies, he said.

Residents can also use the system to volunteer help during an emergency.

"We want people to know that when you see that message, public action needs to be taken," Morici said.

NJ Residents Urged to Call 2-1-1 for Assistance

2009-09-03T17:59:00.002-04:00

www.nj211.org
In the event of a community emergency 2-1-1 acts as a public information point for information in coordination with Emergency Management professionals. 2-1-1 responds immediately during times of crisis, to field calls regarding the crisis and to direct callers to services most appropriate for their needs.

NJ Division of Mental Health Toll-Free Helpline 877-294-HELP (4357) - Counseling and Stress Management Resources Available
No one who lives through a disaster is untouched by the experience. Like other disasters, severe storms and flooding can result in emotional distress, as well as property damage. Disasters can threaten our sense of control and safety, and can affect many aspects of our lives. Disaster stress that is unrecognized or unmanaged can impact our physical and mental health. Dealing with the emotional consequences soon after a disaster can help reduce the possibility of long-term problems. Recognizing and handling stress properly can help you meet the challenges of recovering from a storm or flood and reclaiming your sense of control and security.

County Fairs in August

2009-07-31T19:23:00.001-04:00

Five county fairs to visit between August 1st and 23rd
Warren Cty, Aug 1
Sussex Cty, Aug 1-9
Middlesex Cty, Aug 3-9
Somerset Cty, Aug 12-14
Hunterdon Cty, Aug 19-23

National Night Out August 4 - Mennen Arena - FREE

2009-07-21T16:55:00.002-04:00

National Night Out August 4

Morris County Park Police’s Seventh Annual National Night Out
Mennen Arena
Event: 5 p.m. to 9 p.m.
Ice Skating: 5 p.m. to 8 p.m.

There will be FREE food, drinks, entertainment, ice skating, attractions, and giveaways. Investigate the essential equipment of police, fire, and emergency vehicles, such as motorcycles, ambulances, all-terrain vehicles, fire engines, squad cars, and a helicopter. Visit the horses of the Morris County Park Police’s award-winning Mounted Equestrian Unit.

Rock to the tunes of radio DJs and live performers. Joining us again this year is New Jersey Devils Alumni Bruce Driver, with special guest mascot, N.J. Devil.

Also provided for attendees by the Morris County Park Police are FREE Child ID cards, an initiative launched in 2000 that registers more than 1,000 children annually.

26th Annual Giralda Lawn Concert - Sunday, June 28, 2009

2009-07-01T12:06:00.002-04:00

Sunday, June 28, 2009

26th Annual Giralda Lawn Concert

This will mark the 26th season that the Arts Council heralds the start of summer by presenting the New Jersey Symphony Orchestra on the beautiful lawns of Giralda Farms Corporate Park (the former Geraldine R. Dodge estate).

Conductor Jeffrey Grogan will lead the orchestra in a program whose first half will feature members of Opera New Jersey performing the famous Overture, "Habanera," and "Toreador Song" from Bizet's ever-popular opera, Carmen, as well as "Three Little Maids from School" from Gilbert & Sullivan's beloved operetta, The Mikado, "La ci darem la mano" and Fin Ch'han dal vino" from Mozart's classic Don Giovanni, "Regnava nel silenzio" from Donizetti's Lucia di Lammermoor and Rossini's rousing William Tell Overture (Allegro). The singers will include Anne-Carolyn Bird (soprano), Kemper Florin (soprano), Cristina Nassif (soprano), Lisette Oropesa (soprano), Ellen Putney-Moore (mezzo-soprano) and Matthew Burns (bass-baritone). After an intermission, the program will continue with Beckel’s "Liberty for All," Lowden’s "Armed Forces Salute," Bernstein/Mason’s "Selections from West Side Story," Ellington/Norris’s "Ellington Medley" and Ward/Dragon’s "America the Beautiful."

EXCITING NEW ADDITIONS:

an exhibit of art by the Blackwell Street Artists group

activities for kids (including a craft project) provided by the Community Children's Museum

a special prize - sponsored by Acorn Hall's Victorian Weekend - for the top Victorian-themed picnic

Roving picnic judges will select outstanding picnics (on any theme) -- awarding generous prizes (theatre tickets, dinners for two, concert tickets, gift certificates, etc.) to the winners. Further excitement accompanies the 50/50 raffle at which the lucky winner receives a generous cash award (the remaining 50% goes to support the Arts Council’s scholarship program). Bring your friends, families, classmates, neighbors or come by yourself to help welcome summer with the Arts Council.

All proceeds benefit the many programs and services provided to artists, arts organizations, schools and the community by the Arts Council of the Morris Area.

DATE: Sunday, June 28, 2009

TIME: 4pm – Gates open for picnics (no pets, no BBQs);6pm - Concert starts

PLACE: Giralda Farms Corporate Park, Dodge Drive and Madison Ave., Madison, NJ (RAINSITE: Madison High School auditorium, Ridgedale Ave., Madison)

TICKETS:
In advance, $12 adults; $4 children under 12
At the gate:$15 adults, $5 Children under 12.
Tickets will be available after June 1st at Kings Super Markets (Chatham, Florham Park and Morristown) and at the Arts Council of the Morris Area (973) 285-5115, ext. 14.

CONTACT: General information on the concert is available at the Arts Council website, www.morrisarts.org and at (973) 285-5115, ext.14. On the day of the concert, please check this website or call (973) 285-5115, ext. 14 after 1pm for an update in the event of rain.

Help Out the Inter-Faith FOODBANK of Morris County

2009-06-24T10:33:00.002-04:00

Interfaith Food Pantry Serving Morris County New Jersey

Please help out if you can and drop off food for the Interfaith Food Pantry at the MORRIS COUNTY LIBRARY. The Food Drive ends Saturday. MCL is one of several drop off points around the county. Please spare a can or two of something for folks who are out of work and squeaking by! Everyone has been hit by this recession (even in Morris County) but we can still pick up an extra can or two of tunafish or a box of Parmalat Milk and drop it off at the library for those who have less! Thanks.

After Saturday, contact the Warehouse/Office for the Inter-Faith Food Bank:

Inter-Faith Food Bank
540a West Hanover Avenue
Morristown, N.J. 07960
Phone:973-538-8049

Current Needs

Soup -- Low or No Salt
(such as Healthy Choice, Progresso Lite)

All Canned Fruit
Canned Fish (Tuna, Salmon, etc.)

Canned Beans Not Green (all kinds, Chick, Red, Black, etc.)

NO Stuffing Please

Baby Food and Baby Cereal

Baby Diapers, Size 4,5,6 & Pull Ups

Baby Wipes

Parmalat and Powdered Milk

When shopping, if possible, please consider selecting Low Salt/Low Sugar items as many people have high blood pressure, are seniors or may be diabetic.

Please consider Salt Free or Low Salt & Low Sugar Foods

Please do not include any clothes, toys, furniture, books or other such items with your food collections. They do not have the room.

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH !!

Anything you give is always appreciated.

Thank you for your support.

FREE Morris County Library Summer Children's Events

2009-06-17T17:13:00.002-04:00

Events calendar & online registration
Summer

Reading Club registration begins June 22nd. Stop by for your bag and booklet.

Family Films, Fridays, 2PM
July 10th-31st: Madagascar, Bolt, Tale of Despereaux, Kung Fu Panda

Live performances:
June 29, Lizard Guy, 3PM
July 18, Traveling Lantern Theatre Co, "Life of Beethoven", 2:30PM
July 27, Science telling, Andrew Piccirillo, 3:30PM (ages 5-12yrs)
July 30, Magician Brian Richards, 7:30PM
August 8, Homer Hansen, cut paper art, workshop for children 7-yrs and up, 3PM

Story Times
Preschool, 2 to 5-yrs, no registration
Monday, 2PM, July 6-20
Tuesdays, 10AM, July 7-28
Thursdays, 10AM, July 9-30

Paws for Reading sponsored by the MCLF
Children in grades 1-7 are invited to read to listener dogs trained by St. Hubert's Animal Welfare Center
Mondays, 7--8PM: June 22nd, July 20th, Aug 24th

Programs by age
All ages: Pajama Time, Family Craft Day and Friday Films
6-mos to 2-yrs: Open Story Time
2 to 5-yrs: Story Time
5-yrs and up: Story Craft, School-aged Story Time (K-2), Book Club

Craft Saturdays 10-11:30AM or 2-3:30PM
with Theresa Stanton, for ages 6 yrs+ Please register
Pictures of the crafts projects
July 11th, Freedom quilts/Happy America cards
10AM or 2PM
August 1st, Collage wall hangings 10AM or 2PM
Sept 9th, Cave art creations, fake stone art

Family craft, with Teri
Ages 3-yrs & up, Wednesdays, 10-11AM, June 24-August 5

Pajama Time: story time for families. Come in your pajamas!
7PM, July 6 and 13

Book Club
Read the book, then get together for discussion and some fun.
7PM. Ages 9-yrs and up.
No registration required.
June 17, My 100 Adventures, Polly Horvath
July 15, The Girl Who Could Fly, Victoria Forester
August date TBA, A Cool Moonlight, Angela Johnson

Florham Park Gazebo Concerts

2009-06-11T17:13:00.003-04:00

Sunday, July 12
7:00 p.m. Funktion 11
A high energy jazz twist to tunes you know.
Sponsored in part by Aqua Doctor

Sunday, July 19
7:00 p.m. Tom Chapin
Three time Grammy Awards winner performing a family show with
Jon Cobert & Michael Mark.
Sponsored in part by Automatic Switch Company/ Margaret
Darin Foundation

Sunday, July 26
7:00 p.m. Beach Bumz
Performing all your favorite beach music from Jimmy Buffett, the
Beach Boys and many more of your favorite summer music classics
Sponsored by Boiling Springs Savings Bank

Sunday, August 2
7:00 p.m. Beginnings
Born out of the love and respect of the music … the ultimate
Chicago tribute band

Gazebo location:
Borough Hall Complex, 111 Ridgedale Avenue, Florham Park, NJ.
Rain site is Ridgedale School, 71 Ridgedale Ave., Florham Park, NJ.
If weather is questionable, please check our web site for up to date announcements.
Bring your own blankets or chairs. Snacks and drinks are available for purchase.
www.florhamparkgazebo.com

Mennen Sports Arena Hockey Camps and Clinics (Summer)

2009-06-02T14:57:00.001-04:00

Sign Up Now for Summer Hockey Camps & Clinics

JEFF SEROWIK’S
PRO AMBITIONS HOCKEY
July 6 - 10
(508)497-1089 www.proambitions.com

WM. G. MENNEN SPORTS ARENA
34TH ANNUAL
SUMMER HOCKEY SCHOOL
July 13 – 17, 20 – 24
(973)326-7651 www.morrisparks.net

JENNIFER PERRY’S
POWER SKATING WORKSHOP
Friday Nights 6-7pm
July 10, 17, 24, 31, August 7 & 14
(973)543-2135

NOEL RUBIN’S
EUROPEAN HOCKEY SCHOOL
Sunday Nights June 14 – August 23
Total Camp July 13 – 16,
Elite Camp July 20 – 23
Tune Up Camp August 24 – 27
(973)222-2383 www.nrehs.com

TODD DREVITCH’S
HOCKEY TECHNIQUES
July 27 – 31
August 3 – 7, 10 – 14, 17 –- 21
(908)453-2436 www.hockeytechniques.com

MIKE VALVANO’S
SUMMER GOALIE CAMP
August 3 – 7
(973)895-3162

WEEKEND WARRIORS
ADULT HOCKEY ACADEMY
August 20 – 23
(888)333-9924 www.weekendwarriorshockey.com

LS POWER SKATING, INC.
August 22 - 23
(800)750-3502 www.laurastamm.com

Greystone Thrift Store Clearance Sale - Tuesdays and Thursdays (Morris Plains)

2009-05-31T19:43:00.002-04:00

Greystone Thrift Store Clearance Sale - Tuesdays and Thursdays (Morris Plains)
CLEARANCE SALE !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Greystone Park Association Thrift Store
24 Ruth Davis Dr.
Morris Plains, NJ 07950
973-889-0170

Tuesdays and Thursdays 10 am til 3 pm

Make an offer on anything you want.
The more you buy the more you save!!!!!!!!!!

Directions: Follow Speedwell Ave. in Morris Plains to Granniss Ave to Old Dover Rd. See GPA sign on the left off Old Dover Rd. (by Evans Dr)

Madison: Sanofi-aventis Jazzfest 2009

2009-05-30T13:40:00.001-04:00

New Jersey’s Longest Running Jazz Picnic
Friday, June 5
Free “Stars of Tomorrow” Jazz Concert
Drew University
In the Jazz Tent on the lawn next to the Dorothy Young Center for the Arts
Featuring the top high school jazz bands in the state!
7:00 PM - 10 PM
Come early, bring a picnic and enjoy the “Stars of Tomorrow.”

Saturday, June 6
Madison: Sanofi-aventis Jazzfest 2009
the area's oldest mainstream jazz festival takes place June 5 and 6 with almost 100 musicians performing on three stages at Drew University, Madison Avenue, Madison. The festival kicks off at 7 p.m. on June 5. On June 6, the festival runs from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Some of the performers include Rio Clemente Trio, the Benny Goodman Tribute Big Band, Trio Da Paz and others. Tickets are $50 in advance; $65 at the door. Cost for students is $10 at the gate; free for 16 and younger. There also will be food and vendors all day Saturday. For more information, call (800) 303-6557 or visit http://www.njjs.org.

Bride's Day - Frelinghuysen Arboretum

2009-05-23T19:25:00.001-04:00

he Morris County Park Commission is hosting Bride's Day from noon to 4 p.m. June 13 at The Frelinghuysen Arboretum to help brides achieve their visions of the perfect wedding.

Brides are encouraged to bring their maid of honor, mother or best friend to the program.

A presentation called "The Language of Love" will offer ideas for arrangements and bouquets.

FREE Museum Passes for Macculloch Hall Historical Museum

2009-05-17T07:39:00.004-04:00

The Macculloch Hall Historical Museum for their donation of a family pass, to the Museum Pass Program based in the Morris County Library.

Five local institutions have contributed family passes which you can charge out, from Music & Media (in the Morris County Library), for two weeks.

Learn about Morris County gems; take your family to
Community Children's Museum
Morris Museum
Macculloch Hall (be sure to visit the gardens.)
Museum of Early Trades and Crafts
Stickley Museum at Craftsman Farms

Move It Morris Day! Saturday, May 9th, 2009

2009-04-27T13:10:00.001-04:00

Move it Morris Day promotes children’s health & wellness programs in Morris County and educates local residents about childhood obesity prevention.

This fun family day also highlights various community events & activities being planned throughout Morris designed to get kids to ... “Eat Smart & Move More.”

At Loantaka Brook Reservation
11:00am—3:00pm (rain or shine)

Please Join us for
Move It Morris Day! Saturday, May 9th, 2009
A FREE COMMUNITY EVENT FOR KIDS AND FAMILIES

*Meet NY Jets #74 Center NICK MANGOLD*
• Obstacle course
• Health exhibits and screenings
• Rock climbing wall
• Family bike rides
• Fun games and fitness activities

For Additional information and directions, please visit www.EatSmartMoveMore.org
contact Denise Lanza at info@EatSmartMoveMore.org or 973-326-7615

• Pony rides
• Hula hoops, jump ropes, volleyball
• Health and wellness education
• Health walk
• Giveaways & prizes
… and much more!

Earth Day 2009 - April 18, 2009 - Location: Lewis Morris County Park

2009-04-09T12:22:00.002-04:00

Earth Day

Learn about the wonders of the natural world and how to live in harmony with it by going green! Fun for the entire family, the festival’s entertainment includes live animal shows, interactive displays, crafts, hikes, face painting, canoe rides, games, and much more!

Date: Saturday, April 18
Time: 11 am – 4 pm
Location: Lewis Morris County Park
Contact: 973-635-6629

April - Frelinghuysen Arboretum Programs

2009-04-07T17:51:00.001-04:00

Spring is here! Visit The Frelinghuysen Arboretum and check out these programs scheduled for the month of April. To register for any of the following programs, please call (973) 326-7603.

Tuesday, April 14
Aromatherapy and Essential Oils
This workshop is back by popular demand! Learn about the therapeutic properties of plants with course instructors Nancy Orlen Weber, RN, and Peggy DeArmond. Make aromatherapy air freshener, body oil, and bath salts with high-quality materials. Materials fee paid directly to instructors on day of class.
Time: 12:30 p.m. —2:30 p.m.
Cost: $40 members / $50 non-members for all four classes

Wednesday, April 15
Native Azaleas
Master Gardener Constantine Kallas and his wife, Sally, have created extensive gardens on their Hunterdon County property, the highlight of which is the collection of over one thousand specimens of rhododendrons and azaleas. He will lead you on a photographic tour of his very special garden (featured on The Friends of The Frelinghuysen Arboretum/DIG IT! garden tour in June 2008) and provide extensive information on the Azalea genus, including the horticultural information necessary to grow native azaleas.
Time: 1 p.m. — 2:30 p.m.
Cost: $10 members / $15 non-members

Wednesday, April 22
Tour of the Emilie K. Hammond Wildflower Trail
Early spring wildflowers are at their peak! Join The Friends of The Frelinghuysen Arboretum and the Rockaway Valley Garden Club for a guided tour of the Hammond Wildflower Trail at Tourne County Park, one of the hidden treasures of Morris County. After a brown bag lunch, the tour continues with a view of the beaver den. Directions will be sent with registration confirmation; carpool if possible. Walking shoes are recommended, and don’t forget to pack a lunch! A limited number of participants can be accommodated, so please register early.
Rain Date: Thursday, April 23
Time: 11 a.m. — 2 p.m.
Cost: $10 members / $15 non-members

Sunday, April 26
Spring Cooking Series: Mother’s Day Brunch
Could there be a better Mother’s Day gift than preparing a homemade brunch for that special mom in your life? Most moms we know wouldn’t think so.
We will be making asparagus quiche, salad of baby greens, zucchini basil muffins, fresh squeezed orange juice and chocolate dipped strawberries. Children over 8 years old are welcome if accompanied by an adult. Bring an apron or wear clothes you won’t mind getting messy.
Time: 1 p.m. — 3p.m.
Cost: $15 members / $20 non-members. Sign up for the whole series and get a $5 discount!
***
Don't forget— our 14th Annual Plant Sale is on Saturday, May 2nd, from 9a.m.— 3p.m. Visit the Plant Sale page at www.arboretumfriends.org for more information and an updated plant list.

FREE Council on the Arts Fellowship Exhibition

2009-04-01T19:18:00.002-04:00

New Jersey State Council on the Arts Fellowship Exhibition
Co-sponsored by the New Jersey State Council on the Arts, this biennial exhibition features the work of New Jersey artists who have been awarded fellowships by the State in one of fourteen artistic disciplines. The Visual Arts Center of New Jersey is honored to host the recipients from 2007 and 2008 whose outstanding work falls under the following categories: painting, sculpture, works on paper, crafts, photography, and media. April 10 - June 5, 2009

Visual Arts Center of New Jersey
68 Elm Street
Summit, NJ
Get more info on:

Morris County Library Films (April & May)

2009-03-30T19:56:00.001-04:00

Morris County Library Films (April & May)
Friday Films, 2PM
Films are free and seating will be on a first-come, first-served basis [public meeting room]

April: Woody Allen
Apr 3: Annie Hall PG, 1hr 33 min
Apr 17:Manhattan PG, 1hr 45min
Apr 24: Zelig PG, 1hr 9min
May 1st: Hannah and Her Sisters PG, 1hr 47min

May: Oscar Nominees
May 8: Milk R, 2hr 8 min
May 15:Happy Go Lucky R, 1hr 58min
May 22: Doubt PG-13, 1hr 32min
!!!The May 29th film (Benjamin Button) will begin at 1:45!!!
May 29: Curious Case of Benjamin Button PG-13, 2hr 46min

Salvation Army Stores - New Jersey

2009-03-30T18:56:00.003-04:00

Asbury Park
821 Main Street
Asbury Park, New Jersey 07712
Cross streets: Main Street & 1st Avenue
Phone: 732-775-8633
Hours: Mon - Sat. 8:30 to 5:00

Atlantic City
650 N. Albany Avenue
Atlantic City, New Jersey 08401
Cross streets: Btwn Westend Ave. & Crossan Ave.
Phone: 609-347-9601
Hours: Mon-Thurs & Sat 9:00-6:00 Fri 9:000-7:00

Bayonne
482 Avenue C
Bayonne, New Jersey
Phone: 201-823-2217
Hours: Mon - Sat 9:00-5:00

Dover
24 Bassett Highway
Dover, New Jersey 07801
Phone: 973-366-6626
Hours: Mon - Sat., 9:00 - 5:00

Elizabeth
1155 Elizabeth Ave.
Elizabeth, New Jersey 07201
Cross streets: Broad Street
Phone: 908-965-0137
Hours: Mon & Tues 8:30-5:00 Wed-Sat 8:30-6:00

Englewood
185 Englewood Avenue
Englewood, New Jersey
Cross streets: Cottage Place
Phone: 201-894-8492
Hours: Mon - Sat 9:00-6:00

Greenbrook
199 E. Rt. 22
Greenbrook, New Jersey 08812
Phone: 732-968-1332
Hours: Mon-Fri 9:00-7:00 Sat 9:00-8:00

Irvington
1059 Springfield Avenue
Irvington, New Jersey 07111
Cross streets: Clinton Avenue
Phone: 973-372-2533
Hours: Mon & Tues 8:30-5:00 Wed-Sat 8:30-6:00

Jersey City
242 Martin Luther King Blvd.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Cross streets: Bayview Avenue
Phone: 201-433-4616
Hours: Mon - Sat. 9:00-5:00

Jersey City
248 Erie Street
Jersey City, New Jersey 07302
Cross streets: Boyle Plaza & 15th Street
Phone: 201-653-3071
Hours: Mon - Sat. 9:00-5:00

Newark
74 Pennington Street
Newark, New Jersey 07105
Cross streets: Railroad Avenue
Phone: 973-589-8904
Hours: Mon - Sat., 8:30 - 7:00

Newark
526 Broadway
Newark, New Jersey 07104
Cross streets: Chester Street
Phone: 973-482-9282
Hours: Mon - Sat. 8:30 - 5:00

North Bergen
7425 Bergenline Ave.
North Bergen, New Jersey
Cross streets: 75th Street
Phone: 201-861-4371
Hours: Mon - Sat. 9:00 - 5:00

Passaic
417 Broadway
Passaic, New Jersey 07055
Phone: 973-916-0655
Hours: Mon - Thur 8:30 - 5:00, Fri & Sat 9:00-6:00

Paterson
31 Van Houten Street
Paterson, New Jersey 07509
Phone: 973-742-1126
Hours: Mon,Tues & Thurs, 9:00 - 5:00, Wed, Fri & Sa 9:00-5:30

Pompton Lakes
43 Lakeside Avenue
Pompton Lakes, New Jersey 07442
Phone: 973-839-4492
Hours: Mon - Sat., 8:30 - 4:30

Trenton
15 State Highway 33
Trenton, New Jersey 08619
Cross streets: Hwy 33 & Winslow Avenue
Phone: 609-890-9664
Hours: Mon - Sat 10:00 to 6:30

Trenton
1842 South Broad Street
Trenton, New Jersey 08610
Cross streets: S. Broad & Lilly Street
Phone: 609-695-4164
Hours: Mon - Fri 9:30 - 6:00, Sat 9:00-5:30

Trenton
436 Mulberry Street
Trenton, New Jersey 08638
Cross streets: Mulberry Street & New York Avenue
Phone: 609-599-9803
Hours: Mon - Sat. 8:30 - 5:00

Union City
900 Kennedy Blvd.
Union City, New Jersey
Cross streets: 10th Street
Phone: 201-866-0680
Hours: Mon - Sat 9:00-5:00

Vineland
2279 S. Delsea Drive
Vineland, New Jersey 08360
Phone: 856-794-2491
Hours: Mon - Sat 10:00 - 7:00

Revolutionary Weekend April 24, 25, and 26, 2009

2009-03-26T15:08:00.002-04:00

Revolutionary Weekend April 24, 25, and 26, 2009

Planning continues for a weekend of American Revolution-related special events at various historic sites in the greater Morristown, New Jersey area within the Crossroads of the American Revolution National Heritage Area. The weekend is scheduled for April 24, 25, and 26, 2009 with the aim of increasing knowledge of the importance of Morristown and New Jersey in the American Revolution.

Morristown National Historical Park Superintendent Randy Turner is chairing a committee of various organizations that are planning events throughout the weekend. The events will focus on colonial life in addition to the military operations of the Continental Army.

The weekend will begin with a naturalization ceremony at 1:00 p.m. at Washington’s Headquarters Museum to welcome new American Citizens as they take the oath of allegiance to the United States. A “Martha Washington Colonial Tea” is scheduled from 2:00 p.m. until 4:00 p.m., followed by “ Songs and Stories of the Revolution” presented by Matthew Dodd, illustrating the type of entertainment that would have been heard at a colonial tavern.

There are currently more than fifteen programs – most of which are free – scheduled by sponsoring organizations. These will include a Continental Army Encampment at Jockey Hollow with demonstrations and events presented throughout Saturday and Sunday. Also on Saturday, New Jersey Historian John T. Cunningham will speak about Lloyd Smith and the historic documents contributed by Smith to the Morristown National Historical Park’s archives. Additional activities include be a guided bike ride from Lewis Morris County Park to Jockey Hollow Visitor Center and information and demonstrations regarding colonial herb gardening.

A limited number of events will require tickets. These include a walking tour of Historic Presbyterian Church Burying Ground in Morristown and a dinner at the Morristown Club where a program will be presented entitled “Thomas Paine: Agitator for Freedom and Justice.”

Beginning in early April complete schedules will be available at the following web sites: www.morristourism.org or www.nps.gov/morr and by calling: 973-539-2016 ext. 232.

More than a dozen organizations participating including the following:

●National Park Service
●Crossroads of the American Revolution Association
●Washington Association of New Jersey
●Morris County Visitors Center
●Morristown Partnership
●Morris Museum
●Morris County Park Commission
●Morris County Heritage Commission
●North Jersey American Revolution Round Table
●2nd New Jersey Regiment, Helms’ Company
●Herb Society of America, Northern NJ Unit
●Town of Hanover Landmark Commission
●Burnham Park Association
●Daughters of the American Revolution, Morristown Chapter
●Glassworks Studio
●International Pottery
●Dublin Pub
●George and Martha’s American Grille

Morris Twp.: Morris Museum debuts two exhibits

2009-03-05T16:16:00.002-05:00

Experience a galactic expedition to outer space and a complex exploration of the human body in two highly interactive exhibits from the Pacific Science Center on view at the Morris Museum, 6 Normandy Heights Road, Morris Township, Jan. 28 through April 13. “The Space Spot” transforms the main gallery into a wonderland of planets, stars and galaxies. “Head to Toe: All About Your Body” explores five body-related topics — skeletons, organs, the senses, general health and amazing body facts. Museum hours are Wednesday, Friday and Saturday, 11 a.m. to 5 p.m.; Thursday, 11 a.m. to 8 p.m.; Sunday, 1 to 5 p.m. Admission is $10 for adults; $7 for children, students and senior citizens. Admission always is free for members and is free to the public every Thursday between 5 and 8 p.m. For more information, call (973) 971-3700 or visit www.morrismuseum.org.

The Morris Museum
6 Normandy Heights Road
Morris Township, NJ
Phone: 973-971-3700

1,500 Morris callers rang 2-1-1 in last 6 months

2009-03-02T10:00:00.002-05:00

From The Daily Record:

1,500 Morris callers rang 2-1-1 in last 6 months
Free N.J. help line celebrating four-year milestone

MORRISTOWN -- 2-1-1, an easy-to-remember telephone number that provides Morris County residents with a free and confidential connection to various services, is celebrating four years of providing continuous help 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

NJ 2-1-1 is a system of support, using inbound calls as well as a Web site (www.nj211.org) with instant messaging capability, that is intended to provide free, personal assistance to anyone trying to navigate their way through the vast network of health and human services, government assistance programs and local community resources in the state.

New Jersey Librarians Help Residents Through Tough Economic Times

2009-03-01T15:46:00.006-05:00

New Jersey Librarians Help Residents Through Tough Economic Times

New Jersey public Librarians have crafted a website called "GET HELP"

This website includes:
New Jersey Work Tools - To find a job, negotiate NJ Unemployment Insurance. New Jersey's Virtual One-Stop offers online services to workers and employers.
New Jersey Financial Tools - Offers NJ Helps a guide to benefits assistance, SCHIP, Food Stamps, Veteran's Benefits, Tax Assistance, Auto Insurance.
New Jersey Housing Tools - Check this out for mortgage issued, homeless prevention and other housing related issues.
New Jersey Health Tools - Check this out for health insurance and subsidies, S-Chip, pharmaceutical assistance to the aged and medicare/medicaid issues, Doctor Profiles and Healthy NJ
New Jersey Parental Tools - Includes S-Chip Health Insurance for Children, Child Support, College prep and new parent information.
Tools for Seniors - NJ Ease - A one stop shopping program for senior's programs and issues.

Morristown: Morristown's Got Talent - 2/25/2009

2009-02-25T15:31:00.000-05:00

Morristown's Got Talent

An evening featuring the best amateur talent from Morristown, Morris Plains and Morris Township will be held Feb. 25 at 7 p.m. at The Community Theatre at Mayo Center for the Performing Arts, 100 South St., Morristown. The show will feature the 2009 finalists who auditioned for the show. The event, now in its second year, benefits the Morris Educational Foundation, which sponsors grants, scholarships and more. Tickets cost $20 to $75. Call (973) 539-8008 or visit www.mayoarts.org.

FREE Museum Passes for Morris County Museums

2009-02-25T15:16:00.005-05:00

You can borrow passes to 4 local museums, from the library: Craftsman Farms, Early Trades and Crafts, Morris Museum and Children's Museum.

Check them out from the Morris County Library.

Additional FREE Morris County Library Events

Story Times

Infant/toddler, 6-mos to 2-years, drop in
Stories and fingerplays
10AM, Friday, Jan. 16, Feb. 6 and 20, Mar. 6 & 20

School Age, K-2registration begins February 17
Stories and crafts, 4-5PM
Tuesday and Thursday, March 3-26
All ages Saturdays, 2PM
Jan. 24, Feb. 28, March 28

Paws for Reading sponsored by the MCLF
Children in grades 1-7 are invited to read to listener dogs trained by St. Hubert's Animal Welfare Center
Mondays, 7-8PM: Feb. 23 and Mar. 23
Please register (973-285-6980)

Programs by age Please register
All ages: Pajama Time, Family Craft Day and Friday Films
6-mos to 2-yrs: Open Story Time
2 to 5-yrs: Story Time
5-yrs and up: Story Craft, School-aged Story Time (K-2), Book Club

Craft Saturdays 10-11:30AM or 2-3:30PM
with Theresa Stanton, for ages 6 yrs+ Please register
Mar. 7th, SOAR, Bird mosaics
Apr. 4th, Earth Day shopping bags and cards
May 2nd, Lace Designing (Mother's Day craft)
June 6th, Bird houses (foamboard)

March Events at Morris County Library

2009-02-20T15:03:00.004-05:00

Morris County Library lists its March Events for 2009.
Make sure to reserve your seats online.

Friday Films, 2PM

March: Irish selections
March 6: The Boxer R, 1hr 54 min
March 13: The Snapper, R, 1hr 35min
March 20:The Magdalene Sisters, R, 2hrs
March 27: The Quiet Man, R, 2hrs 9min

Music and Media Upcoming Events

Piano students of Stella Belenky
Saturday March 7th 3:00 p.m.
The concert is free and seating will be on a first-come, first-served basis [public meeting room]

South American music for flute and guitar
Saturday March 21st 3:00 p.m.
Michelle Brick (flute) and Darren O’Neill (guitar)
The concert is free and seating will be on a first-come, first-served basis [public meeting room]

Morris County earthquakes puzzling for geologists

2009-02-18T16:36:00.002-05:00

From the Daily Record:

Minor earthquakes, including three in Morris County during a 15-day span, are relatively common in the northeastern United States but puzzle geologists because the nearest active fault line is hundreds of miles away under the Atlantic Ocean

“The cause of these earthquakes is really a big mystery because they really don’t fit in with the geologist image of plate tectonics,” said Catherine Riihimaki, a geologist who teaches at Drew University in Madison.
Riihimaki said that the 2.3-magnitude earthquake early this morning likely was the second of two aftershocks of the first Morris County quake Feb. 2. None of the earthquakes are believed to have caused any injury of property damage.

The first earthquake, with a 3.0 magnitude, was the largest of the three. The Lamont-Doherty Earth Observatory in Palisades, N.Y., said it was recorded at 10:34 p.m. Feb. 2. It was felt the strongest in Rockaway, Dover, Randolph and Denville.

A 2.2 magnitude earthquake last Saturday was felt primarily in Montville.

The epicenter of this morning’s quake, recorded at 1:42 a.m., was just over a mile outside Dover and felt mostly by people in Denville and Randolph according to county office of emergency management coordinator Scott DiGiralomo.

Riihimaki said today there is no way of knowing whether today’s quake will be the final aftershock but added, “I don’t think there’s any reason to be concerned.”

She added that it is “very rare” for an earthquake in the Northeast to register above 4.0 — generally perceived as the minimum magnitude for causing actual damage.

More typically, earthquakes in the region are so minor that many people — as happened in each of the three Morris County quakes — report not even noticing what happened.

While the San Andreas Fault in California is an obvious hazard for a major earthquake, geologists have various theories about what could be causing comparatively tremors in regions that are distance from any active fault lines.

FDA Peanut Recall Widget - Salmonella Peanutbutter??

2009-02-13T21:03:00.001-05:00

The Change-o-Meter

2009-02-04T16:55:00.001-05:00

Morris County Library Events for Children

2009-02-01T11:22:00.001-05:00

The latest events for children are to be found on the Morris County Library's website:

Upcoming
Jan 26, Paws for Reading, Mon. 7PM
Feb. 6, toddler Story Time, Fri., 10AM
Feb. 17, registration for school age Story Time begins, Tues.
Feb. 18, Book Club, Wed., 7PM
Feb. 20, toddler Story Time, Fri., 10AM
Feb. 23, Paws for Reading, Mon., 7PM

Social Service Agencies for Morris County Residents - (via Morris County Public Library)

2009-02-01T09:32:00.005-05:00

This is a link to the .pdf file of all Social Service Agencies in Morris County, NJ. This file was compiled by the Morris County Public Library and the link leads to their website. This booklet includes information on the following:

GENERAL
Morris County Department of Human Services 973-285-6868
Co-ordinates a large number of programs aimed at improving the quality of life for Morris County citizens. http://www.morrishumanservices.org

NJ Helps NJ Department of Human Services provides a website designed to screen individuals for eligibility to over 30 social service programs. http://www.njhelps.org

NJ 211 New Jersey's community resource, can be accessed online or dial 211 from any phone. Locates where to go for help and how to apply. http://nj211.org

Self-Help Group Clearinghouse 1-800-367-6274 Guide to self-help and other support groups in N.J. with national organizations, model and online groups. Sponsored by St. Clare's Health System and state government.

American Red Cross of Northern New Jersey 973-797-3300 or 1-800-507-6058 Assists individuals with shelter, food, clothing, medication, crisis counseling, and other disaster- cased needs. Helps military families.

AGING
Morris County Division on Seniors, Disabilities and Veterans 973-285-6848
Advocacy for Morris County adults age 60 and over. Helps county residents remain healthy and in their own homes for as long as possible.

NJ EASE (New Jersey Easy Access, Single Entry) Morris County EASE number: 1-800-564-4656 Provides an easy way for seniors and their families to get information about senior services such as healthcare, insurance, home care services, long term care options, transportation, social activities, nutrition and more.

New Jersey Department of Health and Senior Services. Division of Aging and Community Services 1-800-792-8820 Statewide Benefits for Older Persons Guide to programs

Events 1/31 Weekend

2009-01-30T22:12:00.004-05:00

Events for Saturday, January 31 include:

Madison: Casino night fundraiser
Try your hand at blackjack, roulette, or craps at the Casino Night fundraiser at the Madison Hotel, One Convent Road at Madison Avenue Madison, on Saturday, January 31st from 7pm to 11pm. The event, which benefits Central Avenue Elementary School , also includes an open bar, great food and live music. Each guest receives $100 play money with a chance to win gift certificates to local restaurants and stores, tickets to sporting events and many other great prizes. Advance tickets $75.00, $85.00 at the door.

Morris Twp.: 23rd Annual Benefit Concert
The 23rd Annual Benefit Concert for Humanitarian Aid for Central America comes to the Morristown Unitarian Fellowship on Saturday evening, January 31, 2009. The evening is packed with great music and storytelling entertainment, including singer Jean Rohe, the indie music band Matt Kanelos and The Smooth Maria, the jazz band Tyler, Schmidt and Spirig and storyteller Martin Dockery.
Details:
Morristown Unitarian Fellowship
21 Normandy Heights Road
Morristown, NJ 07960
PRICE: Tickets are $20 in advance for unreserved seating, $25 unreserved at the door, and $30 for reserved Patron seats. Call (973)945-5174 to reserve seats in advance.

Sussex: Indoor Yard Sale
Tri-State Actors Theater will hold its annual indoor yard sale on Jan. 30 and 31 from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. both days at Crescent Theatre, 74 Main St., Sussex. No earlybirds. For more information, call (973) 875-2950.

Bernards: Maple sugaring demonstrations
at the Somerset County Environmental Education Center, 190 Lord Stirling Road, Basking Ridge, on Jan. 24, 25, 31 and Feb. 1, 7. 8. 14. 15. 21 and 22. at 10 a.m., noon and 2 p.m. Participants will watch as maple trees are tapped, learn about sap collecting methods from past to present and experience the boiling process that produces New Jersey maple syrup. For more information, call (908) 766-2489.

Morristown: Morristown National Historical Park
The Ford Mansion, the house that served as George Washington's headquarters for six months during the Revolution, is open daily for tours, held at 10 and 11 a.m., and 1, 2, 3 and 4 p.m. The adjacent museum is closed for a major rehabilitation and expansion construction project. Jockey Hollow Visitor Center is open daily from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. The nearby Wick House is open daily from 9:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m., depending on staff availability. Park roads are open from 8 a.m. to dusk. All hours are subject to change. The entrance fee for visitors age 16 and older is $4. A Morristown NHP Annual Park Pass is available for $15 and is valid for 12 months. Call (973) 539-2016 or visit www.nps.gov.

Florham Park: Chocolate Festival - 1/31
Come sample chocolate from vendors, watch demonstrations from local chefs, participate in Silent Auction and hear a performance by the New Jersey Youth Chorus at Park Avenue Club 184 Park Avenue Florham Park from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.

Chester: Winter Wilderness Survival
Would you know how to survive in the wilderness during winter? Join Eric Olsen and Damon Noe of The Nature Conservancy for a basic introduction to winter wilderness survival at Kay Environmental Center 200 Pottersville Road Chester, from 10 to 12. Begin the day with a short introduction indoors, then head outside for lessons on shelter, fire and other survival techniques. Please dress accordingly.

Morris County Library Events (January)

2008-12-30T14:55:00.001-05:00

Morris County Events

Jan. 3, Sat., Craft Saturday, 10AM and 2PM Please register
Jan. 3, Sat., Digital photo class, 10AM
Jan. 5, Mon., Career seminar, Noon
Jan. 6, Tues., Business info/companies, 10AM
Jan. 7, Wed., PC basics class, 10AM
Jan. 7, Wed., Word 1 class, 7PM
Jan. 8, Thurs., Book discussion, 10AM
Jan. 8, Thurs., E-mail pt 1, 2PM
Jan. 9, Fri., film, 2PM
Jan. 12, Mon., Career seminar, Noon
Jan. 13, Tues., class: Business info/industries, 10AM
Jan. 13, Tues., PC Basics 2, 2PM
Jan. 14, Wed., Word 2 class, 7PM
Jan. 15, Thurs., E-mail pt 2, 10AM
Jan. 15, Thurs., concert, 7:30PM
Jan. 16, Fri., Toddler story time, 10AM
Jan. 16, Fri., film, 2PM
Jan. 17, Sat., mail merge class, 10AM
Jan. 20, Tues., Preschool story time begins
Jan. 20, Tues., Magazines & newspapers online, 10AM
Jan. 20, Tues., PC Basics 3, 2PM
Jan. 20, Tues., Writers group, 6:30PM
Jan. 21, Wed., Children's book club, 7PM
Jan. 21, Wed., Word 3 class, 7PM
Jan. 21, Wed., Digital photo 2, 2PM
Jan. 23, Fri., film, 2PM
Jan. 24, Sat., Open story time, 2PM
Jan. 26, Mon., Career seminar, Noon
Jan. 26, Mon., Paws for Reading, 7PM
Jan. 28, Wed., Book discussion, 7PM
Jan. 28, Wed., Word 4 class, 7PM
Jan. 29, Thurs., Google tips, 2PM
Jan. 30, Fri., film, 2PM
Jan. 31, Sat., Career seminar, 10AM

Ice Skating at the Mennen Sports Arena

2008-12-15T23:17:00.001-05:00

The William G. Mennen Sports Arena was built in 1973 on land donated by the Mennen Company. On Sunday, January 12, 1975 the William G. Mennen Sports Arena was officially opened to the public. Originally there was only one ice surface with permanent seating for 2,500 spectators.

In 1986, a second ice surface was completed. In 2002, a third ice surface was completed.

The arena is a full service ice center with skating year round. It offers public sessions, group lessons, hockey clinics, figure skating clubs and birthday party packages.

Non-ice activities include the Annual Shrine Circus, cat and dog shows, antique shows, craft shows, National Night Out, and other types of shows. The facility can be rented for meetings and conferences.

Mennen Sports Arena can be contacted at 973-326-7651.

General Admission:
Monday through Sunday Mornings: 10 am to noon
Tuesday through Friday Afternoons: 3:30 pm to 5:30 pm (except from 12/3/08 - 2/25/09; No Wednesday 3:30-5:30 pm sessions in December & January)
Wednesday and Friday evenings: 8:00 pm to 10:00 pm
Saturday and Sunday Afternoons: 2:00 pm to 4:00 pm

Fee Schedule:
Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday: $5.00 all ages
Wednesday morning and afternoon: $2.50
Saturdays, Sundays, Evenings and Holidays: $7.00 all ages

Skate Rentals (figure or hockey): $3.50 tax included

Ride the Santa Claus Special This December

2008-12-13T17:02:00.002-05:00

Ride the Santa Claus Special This December

Whippany Railroad Museum is SOLD OUT for this Saturday (12/13) and this Sunday (12/14). Unfortunately, there are NO WALKUP TICKETS available at the ticket office this weekend.

However, they DO have tickets available for next weekend! Buy your advance tickets for December 20 or December 21 online by 11:59 PM on December 17:

Buy Your Train Tickets Online at The Whippany Railway Museum. Ticket Fares are $12. for Adults and $8. for Children under 12. Call (973) 887-8177 for ticket ordering info, or visit www.WhippanyRailwayMuseum.net for online tickets

Enjoy a Fun-Filled Holiday Train Ride through Morris County with Jolly Old Saint Nick! Climb aboard our Historic Diesel-powered Streamliner as it rolls along the The Whippanong Trail, the ancient pathway originally used by the Lenape Indians. Santa and his Elves will be on board greeting everyone and handing out Holiday treats for the kids.

Ride, schedule, equipment and ticket availability subject to change without notice. The excursion train consists of a historic Diesel locomotive and enclosed passenger coaches.

The Museum will be open from 12 Noon to 4 PM each day of operation. Admission (separate from train ride fare) is $1.00 per Adult and 50 cents per Child for the continual maintenance and restoration of our Museum building/grounds and exhibit collection. A Gift Shop is located within the Museum building. Light refreshments are available at the Museum's Snack Depot.
During the Christmas Season, you can enjoy the sight of our Historic Steam Locomotive No. 4039 posing as a giant, jolly Kris Kringle... be sure to bring your camera!

The Santa Claus Special and the Museum are staffed by an ALL-VOLUNTEER CREW. Proceeds from this event will go right back into our restoration projects. We appreciate your continued support of our Historic Preservation efforts.

Morristown: Holiday ornaments for sale

2008-12-13T15:01:00.003-05:00

Morristown: Holiday ornaments for sale
Glass ornaments featuring the classic illustration of "Merry Old Santa Claus" by Thomas Nast (circa 1881) and another featuring an illustration of Queen Victoria's upside down Christmas tree are available for $10 each (plus tax) at the Morris County Visitors Center, 6 Court St., Morristown. For more information, visit The Morristown Visitor's Center.

17th Annual GINGERBREAD WONDERLAND!

2008-11-22T17:55:00.003-05:00

Visit the Frelinghuysen Arboretum for their annual
Gingerbread Wonderland event and a selection of
holiday programming for all ages!

17th Annual GINGERBREAD WONDERLAND!

Saturday, December 6th through Sunday, December 14th
10 a.m. – 5 p.m. daily; open until 8 p.m. on Fridays

The enticing scent of gingerbread beckons in the holiday spirit at the incredible Gingerbread Wonderland at the Frelinghuysen Arboretum in Morris Township. Thousands of visitors annually are thrilled to find that the fantastic handmade structures are not limited to traditional houses. Past entries in this scrumptious exhibit have included a grand piano, a cheery birdhouse and even Santa’s sleigh. The gingerbread creations are the result of the creative genius of children, adults, families, school classes and scout groups. Guests may cast their vote for a “People’s Choice Award".

Groups of more than 10 must call 973.326.7601 for reservations. Strollers are not permitted in the exhibit hall. The Annual Gingerbread Wonderland exhibit has become a Morris County tradition - make this feast for the senses part of your holiday tradition!

Gingerbread Wonderland Members Only Preview Night
Friday, December 5, 2008
6 p.m. – 8 p.m.
Enjoy a (relatively) uncrowded viewing of over 200 fantastic gingerbread creations at the Haggerty Education Center. Be sure to cast your vote in the People’s Choice Award, sponsored for the 3rd year, by Kings Super Markets. Then, enjoy complimentary seasonal refreshments, provided by The Friends of The Frelinghuysen Arboretum. Admission to the “Members Only Preview Night” is free, but you must register. Walk-ins cannot be accommodated. To register, please call 973.326.7603.

Cookies for Gift Giving
Just in time for the holidays, we will make several types of cookies that are just perfect for gift giving. Friends and family will truly appreciate these homemade goodies. You will be amazed at how inexpensive it is to put together these great gifts. We'll also look at some creative ways to package them. Recipes will be given and tastes of each cookie too. We'll even provide the milk!
Wednesday, December 3
7 p.m. – 9 p.m.
$20 ($15 for members of The Friends of The Frelinghuysen Arboretum)

Poinsettias
December is the season for crimson red, deep burgundy and emerald green. Learn to use these complimentary colors using watercolor or colored pencil, just in time for the holiday season. Artist Mindy Lighthipe will demonstrate drawing, composing, and applying watercolor and colored pencil. Students may work in whatever medium they prefer. To register, please call 973.326.7603. Please register by November 28.
Thursday, December 4
11 a.m. – 2:30 p.m.
There will be a one-half hour break for lunch.
$75 Cost includes a poinsettia to take home ($65 for members of The Friends of The Frelinghuysen Arboretum)

Create a Holiday Centerpiece
Just in time for the holidays, young people can create their own centerpieces with fresh seasonal greens. All materials – greens, containers, decorations – will be provided. Young people should bring their own pruners and a box in which to take home their arrangements. To register, please call 973.326.7603.
Saturday, December 13
Grades 1-3: 10 a.m. – 11:30 a.m.
Grades 4 and up: 1 p.m. – 2:30 p.m.
$30 ($25 for members of The Friends of The Frelinghuysen Arboretum)

Super Holiday Sprouts
Using fresh evergreens, young sprouts will create a simple holiday arrangement suitable for a special someone. This class is appropriate for children 5 and 6 years old (rising 5s/preschool and kindergarteners). Registration is a must as space is limited and walk-ins cannot be accommodated. To register, please call 973.326.7603.
Tuesday, December 16
4 p.m. – 5 p.m.
$20 ($15 for members of The Friends of The Frelinghuysen Arboretum)

Boonton: Victorian Afternoon Tea

2008-11-20T21:33:00.000-05:00

Boonton: Victorian Afternoon Tea
will be served Nov. 22 from 12:30 to 3 p.m. at the Boonton Historical Society's Museum, 210 Main St., Boonton. Join costumed hosts Dr. and Mrs. John Taylor for food, choice teas, live music and tea leaf reading. Tickets are $25 each and reservations are required. Call (973) 316-0976.

Boonton Historical Society & Museum
210 Main St
Boonton, NJ 07005
Phone: 973-402-8840

Halloween Happenings!

2008-10-27T10:18:00.002-04:00

From: http://www.morrisparks.net/
Upcoming Events:

Sarah Palin Anagrams

2008-09-29T19:15:00.000-04:00

NASAL HARP I
SARAN PAL HI
HA LIAR SNAP
HA IRAN SLAP
HA SNARL PA I
HAS IRAN PAL
AH IRAN SLAP
LASH IRAN P
RAH NAIL SPA

Jib Jab Video - Time for Campaigning!

2008-09-06T11:17:00.001-04:00

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Cake Video (Rathergood.com)

2008-09-03T15:20:00.000-04:00

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred

2008-08-17T20:32:00.001-04:00

FROM: The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred

Here’s what I want you to do:

1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

Jersey Fresh Wine & Food Festival

2008-08-08T09:43:00.000-04:00

http://www.hopewellvalleyvineyards.com/events.html

What a wonderful event for a weekend! Although not in Morris County, Hopewell Valley Vineyards (Pennington, Mercer County - by Princeton) is having a food and wine festival - check it out! Admission is $20.00 ;-((

Jersey Fresh Wine & Food Festival
August 9th & 10th, 2008 (Noon to 5:00 p.m.)
Admission $20.00
Hopewell Valley Vineyards
Pennington, NJ 08534

Jazz It Up Wine Festival
August 30th & 31st, 2008 (Noon to 5:00 p.m.)
Rain Date: September 1, 2008
Admission $20.00
Allaire State Park, Farmingdale

Morristown: Touring Historic Morris County Walking Tours

2008-07-12T09:03:00.000-04:00

Touring Historic Morris County Walking Tours will take place from May 31 to Aug. 9. A series of five walking tours on Saturdays at 10 a.m. that will introduce participants to some of the best-kept secrets in Historic Morris County. Meet at the Morris County Visitors Center, 6 Court St., Morristown. Walks cost $10. For more information, call (973)631-5151 or email to anton@morristourism.org.

To my neighbor...

2008-07-09T16:10:00.000-04:00

From Craigslist:
To my neighbor who I saw pooping in his yard yesterday

Date: 2008-06-05, 2:52PM EDT

I saw you couched down with your pants around your ankles. I asked "Hey, what are you doing?". Your reply was "Pooping in a groundhog hole! I read about it online. It's suppose to trick the groundhog into thinking another animal has moved into it's lair.".

Since you are normally a sane person I refrained from calling the police.

Call Rodney Re.: Telco Spying Immunity!

2008-06-20T12:25:00.001-04:00

http://www.stopthespying.org/NJ/11

Rep. Rodney Frelinghuysen
of New Jersey's 11st District

RODNEY F. Supports Telco Immunity!!

If Rep. Frelinghuysen is your representative, please contact him to remind him that immunity for lawbreaking phone companies is unacceptable:
(202) 225-5034
What To Say

I'm a constituent and I'd like to urge Rep. Frelinghuysen to oppose telecom immunity.
Vote "no" on the new FISA bill (H.R. 6304), which contains blanket immunity for telecoms that cooperated in warrantless government spying. It is very important to me that Rep. Frelinghuysen defend the rule of law and allow Americans to have their day in court against lawbreaking telecoms.
Supporters of telecom immunity will tell you that H.R. 6304 is better – but it’s not. The changes have been purely cosmetic, and your constituents can see right through it. False compromises that grant the telephone companies immunity for participating in warrantless wiretapping are unacceptable.
Don't have time to make a phone call? Email Rep. Frelinghuysen instead.

Babyz Here ;-)

2008-06-12T22:06:00.003-04:00

NJ officials against Buddhist ritual

2007-08-14T18:54:00.000-04:00

Obviously this sect has NEVER seen the Passaic River. Had they known what a toxic waste infested , PCB ridden detrius of chemical-related influx that it is, they themselves would have saved the animals the anguish of being slowly asphixiated in that nasty brew and secured their "karmic potential" by making them into a tasty soup and allowing them to reincarnate into housecats. Buddhist Bastards!

From the Daily Record

PATERSON, N.J. (AP) -- A New York sect of Amitabha Buddhists bought hundreds of eels, frogs and turtles in Chinatown to set them free in the Passaic River, hoping they would not only survive but also realize their karmic potential.

Saving the animals, though, did not do anything for the karma of the state Department of Environmental Protection. DEP officials say the Buddhists did not have a permit and may be subject to fines up to $1,000.

Releasing critters into the wild takes a permit -- and because of fears of harm being done by nonnative species, New Jersey is reluctant to issue them out for anything beyond stocking fish ponds.

"We're dead-set against it," DEP biologist Mark Boriek told a local newspaper. "It's even illegal to stock any kind of carp or goldfish in New Jersey in a place with an inlet or outlet."

The DEP said it would try to figure out where the reptiles and amphibians came from to try to guess how they might impact the river, which has been cleaned up in recent years.

Authorities have not found the Buddhist group yet.

But one member, Ann Chin, talked to the newspaper.

She said the idea was not to hurt other species, but to save the animals that were destined for dinner tables.

"When I pass by the fish market, I cry," Chin said. "I tell people: 'Stop killing them.' Then: 'Don't eat them.' Then your heart goes to mercy."

Morris Maven: Her heart would have been better served had she dumped the critters in the Raritan...

Wondermark Comic

2007-08-14T18:20:00.000-04:00

Welcome to my world...

Hacklebarney State Park

2007-07-26T12:14:00.000-04:00

The Furry Grim Reaper

2007-07-26T11:48:00.000-04:00

NEJM -- A Day in the Life of Oscar the Cat

An absolutely adorable two-year old stray comforts the dying in a Massachusetts Hospice. Strangely, the cat seems to sense a patient's death sooner than the doctors or nurses. Being "chosen" by this little minx causes the nurses to contact your next of kin a.s.a.p. lest they miss your final parting. The cat has a complex personality and is not overly fond of anyone unless they are a hairsbreath away from their final reward.

Mom Jean Spoof on SNL

2007-07-18T13:48:00.001-04:00

Videos to Make Your Eyes Bleed: Part 1 - TECHNO HEINO

2007-07-14T23:11:00.000-04:00

10 Reasons I Won't be Buying an iPhone Anytime Soon

2007-06-30T11:20:00.000-04:00

1.) Hullo - $600.00~! For a PHONE! Someone's been smoking crack! Over the span of a two-year contract, an iPhone will cost at least $2,241. Most carriers offer plans that cost half as much.
2.) ATT Cellular Network F.K.A. Cingular has the WORST Customer service in the world and beyond. Though iPhones are not subsidized, AT&T will still apply the standard $175 early termination fee.
3.) iPhone does not work in other countries. I need at least a G3 to use my phone in Europe.
4.) Flat panel will ensure that my makeup will be smudged all over iPhone everytime I take a call. This will turn me into an iPhone cleaning addict and grant me a new nervous tic.
5.) I was an early adaptor of the iPod Nano and could not BELIEVE the scratches - I want to wait and see if the iPhone has similar issues. Later generation iPhones will fix bugs revealed by the massive consumer test that started yesterday.
6.) I really would like to be able to use my iPhone for music, but if I'm at the gym, I shall look completely dorkalicious, trying to plug into it while on the treadmill.
7.) Not happy with various issues that have come so far SIM Card lock to crappy Cingular/ATT discourages consumer's choice. (And you know you WILL be reamed), there are also issues about the iTunes link to the iPhone.
8.) I will be a stellar mugging candidate if I EVER take my iPhone on the Subway to read the Wall Street Journal.
9.) A new version of the iPhone will be released in 6-7 months (most likely after they have fixed the bugs on version 1.0)
10.) Once again, I would sooner sell the souls of my children to the devil than take out a two year contract with Cingular/AT&T. At least the devil plays fair!

A Letter to My Neighbors

2007-06-11T15:51:00.000-04:00

Dear Neighbors with the Neurotic Dalmation:
It has come to my attention that my two cats, Cleo-the-Evil and Little (20 lb) Kitty, have been encroaching upon your yard despite my best efforts and utilization of the "Water Bottle of Discipline." I apologize. I also apologize for the fact that Little "Fat" Kitty seems to have a morbid fascination with your highly strung Dalmation. While I'm sure that inbreeding accounts for most of his marked yappiness, I am also sure that his demeanor is unimproved by my two cats lounging just out of his range and daring him to attack.

Quite frankly, sometimes I wish he would lunge at them with fangs fully bared just to wipe the smirks off of their smug little faces. Although I have begged, pleaded, cajoled and threatened, to no avail, my cats seem to think that they have free reign over your backyard when Yappy the Dalmo isn't around. This is unacceptable behavior.

I am asking you kindly, as a neighbor, to please turn your water hose on them full blast whenever you see them sniffing around your peonies or ogling the sparrows that congregate around your bird feeder. I would also appreciate it if you could try to aim away from the street as I have no desire to see them flattened either. I am looking for them to be airborne on about 20 gallons of water as they stream into my yard and finally beach on my deck.

I am sure your children would also enjoy playing a game of "Hunt the Mutant Feline Freaks" with one of those large water pistols that shoots H20 with the frequency of an AK-47. Not only would this game prepare your children for a fascinating career as military snipers, it would also ameliorate the rather pungent odor emitting from your slide (which was caused by the cat down the street since my housecats still haven't realized that the outside world is their litterbox).

Thank you for your help in this regard.

Sincerely,
MM

Schroedinger's Cat

2007-06-01T22:08:00.000-04:00

Congressman "Dirty Rodney" Frelinghuysen Fights off Would-be Mugger

2007-05-27T11:09:00.000-04:00

He's rich he's our congressman and he kicks ass!! (Must be the Centrum Silver..) The Daily Record had an interesting article about Morris County Congressman Rodney Frelinghuysen (R). Basically, Rep. Rodney was stepping out and about in Georgetown, a higher end enclave of Washington, D.C. known for its quality restaurants and nightlife when an itinerant 19 year old made the mistake of glomming the Congressman's wallet. Now, had this happened to me it would be a much shorter story involving alot of cursing, whining and wailing because the last time I tried to stop a mugger (in the "wilds" of Jersey City, NJ) I was almost shanked. Literally. The little weasel threatened me with a sharpened metal object so I let him go. (He may also have been irritated because I had pounded him into the nearest parked car, so his shanking threat was not necessarily unprovoked.)

Representative Frelinghuysen, who is a sprightly sixtyish type of gentleman and radiates class the way only denizens of Morris County with large trust funds can, chased the mugger down.

That's right, he chased the mugger down.

Who is the man that would risk his neck
For his brother man?
FRELINGHUYSEN!
Can you dig it?

Who's the cat that won't cop out
When there's danger all about?
FRELINGHUYSEN!
Right On!

They say this cat Frelinghuysen is a bad mother
SHUT YOUR MOUTH!
I'm talkin' 'bout Frelinghuysen.
THEN WE CAN DIG IT!
(Hmmm...Loses something in Translation. Theme from SHAFT, Lyrics by Isaac Hayes)

Now, I am a non-sprightly late-thirtyish type of person with the kind of body mass that can crush an itinerant teenager's spine should I choose to sit on him. (Of course, you have to keep the muggers still for that.) What has "Dirty Rodney" been imbibing so he has the stamina and push to CHASE DOWN A 19 YEAR OLD? Is this something they train you for in "Congressman Class"? Living in D.C.: Mugger Bashing 101? Is Karl Rove teaching self-defense classes for Republicans who may be waylaid in the back hallways of the Capitol by bands of rabid Democrats brandishing snarky amendments to House Resolutions?

Rep. Frelinghuysen (which is SO difficult to spell) has been a Congressman for FOURTEEN years (seven terms) and usually runs unopposed although this year Tom Wyka (Dem.) ran against him just for giggles. I've studied Frelinghuysen's voting record (Open Congress - see link to the left of page) and we are lucky in that Morris County has a congressman who actually shows up for work and does his job. He votes for resolutions supporting Big Pharma, which he should, since half of Morris County is employed by Big Pharma and would like to remain employed so that they are able to vote for Frelinghuysen in the next election. He has bucks in a Trust Fund so he is less likely to be bribed - I mean solicit campaign contributions for "favors." (Congressmen need to divulge their financial information on an annual basis to avoid any appearance of impropriety and my natural inquisitiveness (read: nosiness) had me downloading disclosure ASAP. He is a classic representative of the county he was chosen to represent. (Let's all repeat after me: Morris County, New Jersey, third highest income per capita of any county in the United States.)

Basically, if he wasn't married, he'd be the perfect man to date my ridiculously athletic, Republican mother.

(Except that Mother is traumatized by a recent divorce and has taken to carrying pepper spray to avoid eye contact with would-be suitors. Special apologies to the gentleman on the train with the unfortunate pick-up line whom she thoroughly maced when he queried her for her astrological sign. P.S. Thank you so much for not pressing charges...)

I wish that more news outlets would have picked up this story since it would have mitigated the Court TV debacle concerning the Morristown Nurse (I am referring to the Morristown nurse found guilty in Middlesex County (New Brunswick) for allegedly knocking out her husband and then performing a slice and dice on his remains, prior to re-packaging him into a set of matching luggage.) So kudos to you, Dirty Rodney, I may actually vote for you in the next election (if you are running unopposed again because I AM a Democrat.)

Social Security Death Database - Or, How to Find Your Missing (or Possibly Dead) Relatives

2007-05-16T14:30:00.000-04:00

http://www.genesearch.com/socialsecurity.html

While I'm sure that many of my fellow Morris County (third highest income per capita of any county in the United States) residents have stable families where all members are accounted for, indeed venerated and celebrated at family functions, gatherings and reunions, there is always one "black sheep" or "prodigal son" in every family.

Preferably, these members can be shipped a great distance away from Morris County in order to keep the per capita income figure at a comfortably high level for the rest of us (note: this is sarcasm...)

Every family has a member who "loves alcohol and/or illicit substances just a bit too much" or who "needs some space in order to investigate the modification of his girlfriend's mobile home into a meth lab" or who "slapped his wife around one too many times and finally broke her arm so you hired her a lawyer and hid her and the kids out in your basement until he came by and you had to call the police and buy a .44 for protection." The players always change but the stories remain the same.

Naturally, we all want to distance ourselves (and our imaginary children) from those who may wield such undue negative influence upon our nearest and dearest.

After the ninth intervention doesn't take and the fifth rehab fails to quash the user's addictive rages there remains only one alternative - walk away and close the door. It is also acceptable to hope that your loved one hits bottom and rescues himself from the stygian depths of hell because you obviously have no impact upon them whatsoever.

I know it sounds cruel, however, those of you who have some personal knowledge of the topic will nod your heads vigorously. There comes a time when the sanctity of your family is tested vs. the self-destructiveness of the addict and it is okay to pick your family first.

One of my imaginary relatives (Jane) lost her mother to Smirnoff and Absolut. Her father was awarded custody of her after a monumental court battle which involved the disbursement of half of her college fund to her father's attorneys and the other half to her mother as a bribe to leave her alone (this is not as mean as it sounds, the mother either vanished for weeks at a time or showed up at Jane's school completely plastered). After the pay-off, Jane's mother disappeared and was never heard from again. Rumor had it that she ended up in Los Angeles, but that is like a parent saying, "we gave away your old dog to this lovely farm upstate..."

Common wisdom would dictate a shabby death shortly after the divorce but this woman was a stellar example of the French paradox. Jane's mom had embalmed her internal organs to such a degree that she outlived all of Jane's other biological relatives.

While ironic, it was actually a bit of good news as Jane has had a baby at the age of 49 and is hoping to be able to attend at least his highschool, if not college, graduation if she can manage to live that long. After preparing a suitable estate plan in case the inevitable happens sooner than she hopes it does, she began to wonder about her mother's life span vis a vis her own. How old was her mother when she died and where had she died?

However, with no contact for 43 years, how do you find out if your missing relative is dead and at what age he/she passed away? Enter our friend, the internet.

The U.S. government was forced to implement the SSDI (Social Security Death Index) in the 80's as a result of an FOIA (Freedom of Information Act - lots of acronyms in our government) lawsuit. Although the federal government updates the database to ensure that government benefits aren't paid out to the deceased and credit card companies license it to ensure that the deceased aren't granted credit cards, it is not made available to the general public except through the genealogy sites that license it. These sites are also not always up to date and can be months behind so caveat emptor. i.e. Don't blame me if your relative dies in January but cannot be found until spring because Frankie in the Missouri Social Security office was on maternity leave and the database was not updated with the info until she returned because the temp was a lazy, useless ass.

Okay. If you are mentally ready to do this, take a few deep breaths and maybe find a loved one to be on the phone with or for some hand holding. Once again, think about this, do you really want to know? This can be painful. I found my father this way and it would have been rather more intelligent had I left the office BEFORE I did the internet search. My colleagues were not impressed by my wailing and I regretted not having a cognac nearby. Okay, ready? Here goes:

Copy and paste this into your web browser:

http://www.genesearch.com/socialsecurity.html
Use one of the "free" sites. I am not listing specific sites because one or more may be unresponsive. I liked the New England research site, but you can try them all. Some were updated more recently than others but it is all from the same database.

Type as much information as you know. You can type in social security number and/or last name if you know it. My father has an uncommon name so I only typed in that and found him. Jane's mother was researchable because her father and mother had received their cards at the same time and their digits were one apart from another. Jane was happy to discover that her alcoholic mother had died at the wizened old age of 85. With good behavior, Jane may be able to reach 100 and attend her son's fourth wedding!

Good luck in your search and please feel free to ask me questions via the moderated comments.

In my next post, I will relate the tale of how I had to dig my father up and how he is now safely in my basement until I figure out what to do with him...umm, I should probably add that he was professionally cremated, so please don't worry, he is not in my freezer or anything...

New Jersey's Anthem

2007-04-27T23:16:00.000-04:00

Morristown Nurse Found Guilty of Murder

2007-04-24T15:29:00.000-04:00

The story in the Daily Record is pretty self-explanatory.

Since the jury has decided, I'm not going to make any commentary except (ah hah!) for one thing: How come they found no trace evidence of her husband's dismemberment in the townhouse? No one is THAT GOOD a housekeeper. Okay, maybe she did chop him up somewhere else, but even a nurse would be squeamish quartering her husband into three different suitcases. Plus, a 115 pound nurse in a fertility clinic knowing how to butcher a 200 pound man?? She's not a surgery nurse, she's practically OBY/GYN. I don't know, I have reasonable doubt. Fortunately for the prosecutors, I was not in the jury pool!

It is amazing how much work goes into prosecutions. The prosecutors had about two days off in the past six months. Kudos to them, if Melanie M. did kill her husband, than the Deputy Attorney General and Associate Attorney General succeeded in making a mound of circumstantial evidence take shape in order to convict the nurse. I was laughing when I read the following paragraph concerning the lead prosecutor:

"For the first time since the trial began on March 5, Prezioso was not dressed in black. Asked whether dressing in green was because she had a premonition that the jury would render a guilty verdict on the murder charge, Prezioso said no. "I was behind on my dry-cleaning," she explained." Daily Record, April 24, 2007

She and I have the same attitude concerning office attire. You know you are dressed appropriately when you can attend a funeral after work without having to change. I think we must have been separated at birth!

In Defense of Grindhouse - The Movie

2007-04-13T17:59:00.000-04:00

Last weekend, I was looking for something interesting to do for the weekend. My husband looked at me guiltily and mentioned, "Um, I'd kind of like to see Grindhouse..." (wince).
"Ah," I said, " you mean Grindhouse, the double feature with large swaths of uncovered Rose McGowan?"
"Uh huh... If that's okay with you..."
"You mean the movie where she pole-dances like a stripper for the first ten minutes and then fights zombies while she's partially clad for the remaining 40 minutes?"
"Uh yeah..."
"Sure, it's cost effective, we get TWO MOVIES (Planet Terror and Deathproof) for the price of ONE!"

I LOVED GRINDHOUSE - and I'm a woman! This movie is best viewed in theatres in that it is more of a "movie-viewing experience" than an actual movie. The best part of the movie are the pseudo-trailers that bookend the first "Zombie Movie", Planet Terror. Check this link for times that Grindhouse is shown at Loews.

Bizarre New Jersey

2007-04-13T14:04:00.000-04:00

So... what's been going on in Jersey this week? Let's say a flying saucer whisked me away last week to the home planet and beamed me back this morning.

I check out the internet:

Our governor, John Corzine, was in a car accident last night on the Parkway. Bonus points to Corzine for neglecting to wear a seatbelt and demonstrating (once again) to the citizens of New Jersey why we have New Jersey’s Seat Belt Law (NJS 39:3-76.2f) on the books. A short rundown of this law:

Applies to all passenger vehicles including vans, pickup trucks and SUVs, that are required to be equipped with seat belts.
Applies to all passengers, who are at least 8 years of age but less than 18 years of age, and each driver and front seat passenger of a passenger automobile, operated on a street or highway. All occupants are required to wear a properly adjusted and fastened seat belt system.
Makes the driver responsible for proper seat beltuse by all occupants who are under the age of 18.

http://www.nj.gov/lps/hts/seatbelts.html#2

We all wish Governor Corzine a speedy recovery and hope that he can be taken off of the ventilator soon.

Acting Governor Codey requests that families and churches in New Jersey (except for those heathen atheists among us) pray for his recovery this weekend. Those heathen, non-praying, atheists among us are requested to sacrifice a small animal no smaller than a squirrel but no larger than a chicken for the Governor's recovery.

Don Imus has been summarily fired by WFAN and MSNBC after his remarks in regard to the Rutgers Basketball Cinderellas. However, Imus' career will regenerate itself and like a gray-haired septugenarian cockroach, he will overcome the detritus of his remarks to regain some sort of "elder statesman status" by this time next year. Look for this magical regeneration to occur some time around St. Patrick's Day perhaps in conjunction with a rehab stay. In the meantime he will write a million dollar, best-selling, memoir and show up on Larry King full of piss and vinegar.

In the meantime, idiots are still sending hate mail to the Rutgers Basketball Coach.

As a former teacher, I'd like to give one quick lesson to all those white boyz/girlz out there. Your parents didn't feel they needed to mention this in a post civil-rights society, but since most suburban, white 80's/90's babies bought millions of rap CDs, wore oversized pants whose crotches grazed their knees and attended many concerts headlined by black gangsta culture afficionados/rappers, etc. you need to hear this.

IF YOU ARE NOT BLACK, IT IS NOT COOL TO CALL BLACK PEOPLE RACIST NAMES. I know Snoop Dog, Nelly, ODB, Kanye West etc. use that language BUT if you are NOT BLACK you DO NOT USE THE LANGUAGE.

Sure, I listen to Kanye West's "Gold Digger" (the "Explicit" iTunes version which drops the N-bomb about 200 times) in the New York City subway. ie. "Now I ain't saying she's a Gold Digger, but she ain't playin' with no broke (N-bomb plural)." As a conservative-looking 39 year-old white woman in a cashmere twin-set and pearls, that garners me alot of surprised glances from people who have the misfortune to sit next to me and overhear my iPod selections. However, when I catch the eye of the black Grandmother from the Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem, I immediately apologize and switch over to Justin Timberlake's SexyBack (or some other "Harmless White Song With Too Much Synthesizer").

The N-bomb, while enjoyable for Kanye West to use over and over (and over) again - given that he is a post civil-rights baby - still stings the Grandmother. Yes, it still stings, even though this is a rap song sung by a black, former college student who has made millions of dollars off of this song (and that word). Ladies and Gentlemen, if you are not black, you do not use the N-Bomb and you do not refer to black women with terminology used by black rappers. Yes, you have freedom of speech. Yes, you have license to say anything that you want. However, that will not protect you from the beat down that will be visited upon you by black, white, yellow and beige people who recognize that you are just hiding behind the First Amendment as a cover for overt hate language and inveterate racism.

White parents, it is your responsibility to teach the proper utilization of language and racial respect to your children. My nephew is black. I do not want him to grow up afraid to make something of his life because he doesn't want to be targeted by some shock-jock hiding behind the First Amendment to conceal inveterate hate language. Someday, your grandchildren or great-grandchildren or great-great grandchildren could be black or beige or yellow. Do you really want them to be subject to this kind of racist commentary? Let's end this bullshit now.

How to Be a Second Generation Slovenian-American

2007-04-03T06:36:00.000-04:00

I'm German-American/Czech-American and my brother and sister are German -American/Hungarian-American. When I read this on "The Glory of Carniola Blog" (Slovenian Blog), I almost split my sides laughing because MANY of the items are extremely accurate when pertaining to second generation Americans of Eastern (and European) ancestry.

For example, who will ever forget Eliza-the-Obsessively-Perfect's father and I chugging Slivovich at Christmas? How can we forget about Hurka in all of it's glorious liver, blood and intestinal manifestations? Remember he pilgrimages to the Hungarian butcher (Toth's) in New Brunswick which were part biology lessons part gourmand offal tours? How can we forget getting dragged out of bed every Saturday morning, at the crack of dawn, to conjugate verbs of illegitimate germanic descent. As for my brother and sister, ten years of enforced Hungarian folk dancing school, and they groove to an accordian at the slightest provocation. Very funny!

From: http://www.carniola.org/2007/04/35-facts-about-slovenes.htm

Here they are:

1. Slivovica cures everything from a stomachache to paper cuts.
2. You are well acquainted with “sarma” (cabbage rolls)
3. You eat everything with “ajvar” (eggplant spread)
4. Your profanity consists of Croatian and Serbian phrases because Slovenija is too pure to have swear words. (Substitute any neighboring country of Hungary and Germany for Croatian and Serbian)
5. There is nothing gross about blood sausages (krvavice). (or Hurka!)
6. Drinking with your parents is normal. (and encouraged - especially when you are buying!)
7. Your relatives, especially in Slovenija, do not believe in opening the car windows on a sweltering hot day because of “prepih” (drafts).
8. When outside of Slovenia, you fight an irresistible urge to kiss the person you’ve just shaken hands with. (it is still embarassing when I lunge after my non-European friends post-handshake and plant one on them - it was drilled into us every Sunday to do this when meeting fellow Church members)
9. You’re not allowed to leave the house with damp hair because you’re going to become bolan(a) (sick).
10. You have to wear copate (slippers) around the house, even if you have carpeting and it is 95 degrees outside. (My mother still insists upon this)
11. Your family makes their own vino, medica, or Slivovica. (We made wine in our basement - in freaking New Jersey!)
12. You never got to sleep in on Saturday because you had Slovenska Sola (Slovenian School)
(...or German School)
13. Mami is always making you eat.
14. You know how to dance polka and you’re proud of it.
15. Someone in your family can play buttonbox or accordion and is always bothering you to learn. (Our family comes from the one tiny town in Germany that actually makes the damn things so we have 20 in our attic)
16. You’ll still drink Cockta to please your family in Slovenija even though it makes you sick to your stomach (their version of Coca-Cola) (we had Almdudler - Austrian Soda)
17. English verbs are acceptable if used with the ending “-ati”, which makes them Slovenian: “play-ati”, “study-ati”, “clean-ati”, or the best one “walk-ati” - pronounced: vakati!
18. At the age of 13 you are only allowed to go out of town with your friends for folklore festivals, drinking binges, and dances.
19. Your parents were at the party where you first got drunk and maybe even offered you a drink. (We call that "Christmas," "Easter," and "Thanksgiving")
20. Then they waited until the ride home to beat the crap out of you for getting drunk and embarrassing them.
21. The majority of your friends are also your relatives, even if they aren’t your relatives; because you refer to their parents as “teta” and “stric“. (aunt and uncle)
21. “Kuhovnice” (wooden spoons) are not only used for stirring when cooking… they are also used by mami to beat you when there is no “Siba” (stick) handy.. (So true, nowadays, I'd be able to call NJ DYFS)
22. At least once you’ve told your parents that you’ll call the police to report “child abuse” and your parents said “Ja! Samo probaj…” (just try!)
23. Lunch on Sundays has more courses than Amerikanci have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.
24. Your 13 year old sister can out-drink any Amerikan’c or Irishman. (and still does)
25. You love “Golaz”, (beef stew) but don’t like bringing it to school or work for lunch because you’d be embarrassed if someone asked you what it was.
26. Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand. (Meat is more than a food group - it is a lifestyle)
27. All other action stops when you hear people speaking Croatian or Serbian somewhere. (shrug - I have no frame of reference here.)
28. You smell garlic or alcohol on the old man’s breath behind you sitting on the pew in church on Sunday mornings. (we went to St. Ladislaus-nuff said)
29. You never got the “Birds and the Bees” talk from mami or ati when growing up.
30. You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland for a minimum of 4 weeks.
31. Your relatives alone can populate a small city. (and still do, in several different countries)
32. You’ve worked in the “Stale” (barn) at your relatives house in Slovenia and the cow smell didn’t even bother you. (we worked at the expatriated family lodge in the Catskills)
33. (left blank)
34. You think mixing Coke and red wine (bambus) is an extremely tasty drink. (Germans and Hungarians drink mighty weird things, let me tell you...)
35. You’re still laughing your ritka off because you know every single one of these are true.

More Money Than Sense?

2007-03-31T22:33:00.000-04:00

Luxist is a blog that presents affordable and unaffordable luxuries. In addition to the Chappaqua Estate of the Day and the ugly, unaffordable watch of the month, Luxist highlights unintentionally humerous products which some of the noveau riche may actually purchase. Enter the latest Theo Fennell's sterling silver condiment sleeves and lids

Imagine that Bitsy is having the Board of Directors and General Counsel of MegaConGlom over for dinner and suddenly realizes, "Gracious, how CHAV, I cannot possibly serve my Heinz 51 ketchup unadorned on the table without a sterling silver ketchup sleeve and cap! Why the fingerbowls will absolutely clash with the tacky red color of the tomato ketchup! Quelle Horreur!"

Since we do live in the county with the third highest income per capita in the U.S., I'm sure that this actual conversation has taken place in a Bernardsville home or two. Ok, 900 British pounds only picks up the ketchup sleeve and cap, that, my dears, is $1,771.65 in real money! Egads!

How NOT To Commit Murder

2007-03-30T10:36:00.001-04:00

Note to Self: When planning the homocide of my imaginary husband, do not search Google.com for Murderous Tips like the Morristown nurse currently on trial...

It is always embarassing when one of our Morris County neighbors or colleagues manages to secure bad press through some misguided criminal action which is immediately jumped upon by the press and reflects badly upon the rest of the law-abiding citizenry.

I am referring to the Morristown nurse currently on trial in Middlesex County (New Brunswick) for allegedly knocking out her husband and then performing a slice and dice on his remains, prior to re-packaging him into a set of matching luggage.

It is difficult to explain to your mother-in-law why your choice in housing was a good one when exploits like these are picked up and broadcast to the general public via Court TV.

Although Morris County ranks 3rd among the highest-income counties in the United States by median household income, and 10th by per capita income (Source: Wikipedia) this does not translate into an increase in accompanying cerebral capacity. (Although it should, judging from the ridiculous property taxes that I pay into our school system...)

While I admit that I did not know all Google searches were cached (stored) on my hard drive, it does make sense. What also makes sense is that if I have murderous intent on say, my sister, Eliza-the-Obsessively-Perfect (EtOP), which I don't but for the sake of argument, let's say I do. I am NOT NOT NOT NOT going to perform a search on Google for the following topics: "how to commit murder" and "undetectable poisons." In the nurse's trial, a former state police computer examiner, testified that a computer she had access to was used to do research on poisons, guns and murder in the weeks leading up to her husband's disappearance. Whether the nurse herself did the research is for a jury to decide. Unfortunately, and this has kept my husband alive for many years now, where murder is concerned, statistically, the spouse is always the most viable suspect. Between 1976 and 2004, 41,772 people were murdered by their spouses.
How depressing!

More information on the trial is here.

Bonus Question: Did the nurse write this "anonymous letter" sent to the prosecutor's office or was someone else watching too many episodes of the Sopranos? Hmmm...

Bonus Bonus: Court TV has a new series hosted by twisted B-movie king, John Waters. John Waters has directed some of the most bizarre fims including "Pink Flamingos." In this eerie series, "Til Death do us Part" (to Love, Honor and Perish), he plays the "Groom Reaper" who harvests the Groom or Bride shown grinning like maniacs on their wedding day. What an exemplar of modern schadenfreude attuned to the baser instincts of humanity. I know I'll be watching!

Ashley Jacobsen Bunny from ETSY.com

2007-03-27T17:45:00.000-04:00

I just wanted to show off an ETSY (Handmade) purchase that I just received. This was printed on canvas paper by Ashley White Jacobsen. It's perfect! Next up, a Squirrel Haiku Zine!

A copy of Haiku Zine Issue 1 - the topic for this inagural issue is the noble squirrel. Inside there are six haikus written from the perspective of a squirrel, truly a wonderful thing to behold. Plus each page is lavishly illustrated with olde school squirrel woodcut illustrations on lovely cream-colored paper. A tiny, amusing conversation piece!

Sample Haiku:

Misguided acorn
Could have sworn I left you there
Earthen Tupperware
(swoon!)

I'm About to Get a License to Kill (and So Are You!)

2007-03-26T21:58:00.000-04:00

In spite of my advanced age (late 30's) I am an obsessive reader of Fark.com I LOVE Fark.com, especially the comment section which reeks of unwashed bodies, excessive testosterone and introduces me to a segment of young, tormented masculine geekery that I would otherwise not come across.

One recent hotbed of contention was derived from a report of a homeowner who surprised a masked burglar in his home and proceeded to beat the -ahem- crap out of him. He managed to hogtie the burglar and slammed the knife-wielding perpetrator into his floor a few times. When our heroic homeowner removed the burglar's mask, he was aghast to discover that the burglar was a seventeen year old GIRL. She was bored so she decided to rob her neighbors (she'd already scored over $1,000 from other neighbors who weren't home). Bored. When I was seventeen, I was working two jobs and going to college full time. Bored did not enter into the equation. But who cares about me? One avid reader pointed out that since Florida's castle doctrine law was enacted in 2005, the burglar would have to take her licks and her newly broken nose would not be fixed at a cost to the homeowner.

Huh? In my little world, it is cheaper just to let the burglar ransack my home than to smack him on the head with my handy dandy ACME meat tenderizer/burglar unconscionator OR HE COULD SUE MY ASSETS OFF.

The Florida "Castle Doctrine" law basically does three things:

It establishes, in law, the presumption that a criminal who forcibly enters or intrudes into your home or occupied vehicle is there to cause death or great bodily harm, therefore a person may use any manner of force, including deadly force, against that person.

It removes the "duty to retreat" if you are attacked in any place you have a right to be. You no longer have to turn your back on a criminal and try to run when attacked. Instead, you may stand your ground and fight back, meeting force with force, including deadly force, if you reasonably believe it is necessary to prevent death or great bodily harm to yourself or others.

It provides that persons using force authorized by law shall not be prosecuted for using such force.

It also prohibits criminals and their families from suing victims for injuring or killing the criminals who have attacked them.

I have been trying to research if we have an analogous law here, but I would hesitate to interpret NJ Supreme Court findings since I am not an attorney. Quite frankly, I am not sure if stowing a revolver in my nightstand is all that fabulous either - especially given the strong curiosity of my imaginary children, Kayleigh and Rocco. I've voted for both Democrats and Republicans and fall more into the libertarian mold, politically, but I am not sure if a federal "License to Kill" is a good thing.

H.R.73 - Citizens' Self-Defense Act of 2007 is cheerily subtitled "To protect the right to obtain firearms for security, and to use firearms in defense of self, family, or home, and to provide for the enforcement of such right." That's lovely, M., you may be thinking, but what do I get out of it? Well, lets just say that if this bill is passed, and a burglar manages to get into your home in spite of your overly-vigilant neighbors, state of the art home security system, evil twin Rottweilers, machete-wielding children, Kubaton brandishing husband and psychotic mother-in-law whom you keep locked in the attic, you have the RIGHT, nay the prehensile DUTY to shoot the burglar's assets off!

SEC. 3. RIGHT TO OBTAIN FIREARMS FOR SECURITY, AND TO USE FIREARMS IN DEFENSE OF SELF, FAMILY, OR HOME; ENFORCEMENT.

(a) Reaffirmation of Right- A person not prohibited from receiving a firearm by Section 922(g) of title 18, United States Code, shall have the right to obtain firearms for security, and to use firearms--

(1) in defense of self or family against a reasonably perceived threat of imminent and unlawful infliction of serious bodily injury;

(2) in defense of self or family in the course of the commission by another person of a violent felony against the person or a member of the person's family; and

(3) in defense of the person's home in the course of the commission of a felony by another person.

Now, this bill, sponsored by a Republican Congressman - no doubt as payback for a generous NRA campaign contribution, will never be enacted into law under a Democratic Congress. I can't say I am overly disappointed, but I can tell you that if I could change this bill, I'd wipe out "felony" under Sec. 3(a)(3) and replace it with "misdemeanor, robbery or other untoward perhaps nasty spiteful thing since the bastard is in your house anyway, you know it can't be good, ."

If you're going to write a bill like this, that you know doesn't have a snowball's chance in heck, at least go whole hog for the humor quotient inherent in the legal system. A tax deduction for the Georgia gun fair purchase of an AK-47 would be helpful. If some freaky deaky burglar-poo is going to be smeared across my living room in non-living technicolor, I want it done with as much firepower as possible. Since this bill is sponsored by a Republican, I think we could also ask for a tax break (deduction) for the hazardous waste removal of any blood spatter or internal organs that find their way into the sanctity of my castle domicile post robber-deflectionary procedure.

Wide Range of Spending in N.J. Schools

2007-03-23T13:35:00.000-04:00

The New York Times just came out with an article in today's paper in regard to the wide range of spending in New Jersey schools. Although they concentrated mainly on the Abbot School districts that receive a majority of state funding, they also ranked the municipal school districts . The chart shows comparative spending per pupil in more than 600 school districts across New Jersey. As everyone within Jersey (or Joisey, if you want to be technical) knows, there is nothing - nothing that we are more passionate about (and I am even INCLUDING SEX) than our school rankings.

On one hand, a high ranking means that your property values are certain to escalate dramatically because everyone looks at the rankings and NO ONE wants to cause incalculable harm to little Jaden, Madison or Chad by leaving them to the prattlings of an INFERIOR school system (I'm not naming names, Rockaway Boro, ranked 562 out of 600). Personally, my own imaginary children, Kayleigh and Rocco, chronic underperformers that they are, would do well in Rockaway Boro, since I'm sure they would blow out the curve and graduate Summa and Magna Cum Laude - misunderstood child geniuses, both). On the other hand, Mountain Lakes is 26th on the list. Excuse me while I commit hairi kairi with my letter opener. My own town, Morris Plains is a "slackerish" 129th in spending. (Apologies to my Boro - I'm sure all of our teachers are working extremely hard given the $13.4k per child they have to work with, which only covers 87% of educating said student).

Which leads us into the second unfolding drama as a result of the school rankings and the SECOND MOST IMPORTANT TOPIC THAT WE NEW JERSEYANS HOLD DEARER TO OUR HEARTS THAN EVERYTHING ELSE IN THE WORLD (save our imaginary children). Test Rankings. Basically, the school ranking discrepancy can be parsed by the fun "how much are we spending per child in our school systems vs. the effect of this spending on math and language test rankings game." ) a.k.a. (with the heinous amount of property taxes I pay annually, Rocco and Kayleigh had BETTER be scoring in the top 90th percentile, dammit)

Of course, when the reader focuses on the rather mundane aspect that school spending equals HIGHER PROPERTY TAXES, the rankings game becomes less important than the "how the heck am I going to afford to pay my property taxes this year" game.

Now this starts up the exciting battle between my sister, "Eliza the Obsessively Perfect"(EtOP) and me "Trish the Excessively Imperfect" (TtEI). EtOP lives in Mendham which, according to our friends at the NYT ranks 156th in school spending and $12.9k per student (I'm taking Mendham Twp, not Boro). Morris Plains ranks 129th in school spending and 13.4k per student for the 2006/7 school year. (This is down $200.00 from the prior year, so they must have discontinued art or phys-ed for the savings. Either that, or an overly paid administrator was summarily shown the door - kidding, please don't send me 20,000 hate e-mails in regard to our school system, yes, I know it's great...please don't hurt me)

Well, should Rocco and Kayleigh have taken the 3rd, 4th and 5th grade Language Arts exam, they would have scored somewhere around 98, 92, 92 percentile respectively.

Okay, Eliza-the-Perfect's genetically engineered test tube offspring known as Thad and Thor scored 93 and 96th, respectively, and 97th if they ended up in Mendham township middle school.

These are basically the same scores with Mendham winning slightly as spawn starts conjugating verbs. Now for math: Morris Plains 96, 95, 92 vs. Mendham 92, 95, 96. Basically, the same scores reversed. So, while I can rib Eliza-the-Perfect in regard to Mendham's slightly lower per student spending, I can't call NJ DYFS and claim my nephews, Thor and Thad, as my own because their test scores are still within the shockingly brilliant percentile. (I make up my own percentile categories).

Thus, EtOP retains custody of her children, at least until their scores fall into the 80th (abysmal) percentile and I scoop them up for the more brilliant climes of The Plains. Just kidding, Thor and Thad will never be my own, they have a blatant history of feline enmity and that just will not go over well with my 15 cats.

If you are still awake, check out this report on School funding formula at the NJ Department of Education website. All I can say is that it was obviously written by someone in Wisconsin... Oh look, a Comparative Spending Guide to examine school budgets! I'll let you parents parse the data. I was concerned that the school report card for 2006 isn't out yet on the NJ web site, but is is due out later this month, so I'm sure that there will be more rankings to peruse, dispute and feel smug about. Any comments, anyone?