Bizarre New Jersey

So... what's been going on in Jersey this week? Let's say a flying saucer whisked me away last week to the home planet and beamed me back this morning.

I check out the internet:

Our governor, John Corzine, was in a car accident last night on the Parkway. Bonus points to Corzine for neglecting to wear a seatbelt and demonstrating (once again) to the citizens of New Jersey why we have New Jersey’s Seat Belt Law (NJS 39:3-76.2f) on the books. A short rundown of this law:

• Applies to all passenger vehicles including vans, pickup trucks and SUVs, that are required to be equipped with seat belts.
• Applies to all passengers, who are at least 8 years of age but less than 18 years of age, and each driver and front seat passenger of a passenger automobile, operated on a street or highway. All occupants are required to wear a properly adjusted and fastened seat belt system.
• Makes the driver responsible for proper seat beltuse by all occupants who are under the age of 18.

http://www.nj.gov/lps/hts/seatbelts.html#2

We all wish Governor Corzine a speedy recovery and hope that he can be taken off of the ventilator soon.

Acting Governor Codey requests that families and churches in New Jersey (except for those heathen atheists among us) pray for his recovery this weekend. Those heathen, non-praying, atheists among us are requested to sacrifice a small animal no smaller than a squirrel but no larger than a chicken for the Governor's recovery.

Don Imus has been summarily fired by WFAN and MSNBC after his remarks in regard to the Rutgers Basketball Cinderellas. However, Imus' career will regenerate itself and like a gray-haired septugenarian cockroach, he will overcome the detritus of his remarks to regain some sort of "elder statesman status" by this time next year. Look for this magical regeneration to occur some time around St. Patrick's Day perhaps in conjunction with a rehab stay. In the meantime he will write a million dollar, best-selling, memoir and show up on Larry King full of piss and vinegar.

In the meantime, idiots are still sending hate mail to the Rutgers Basketball Coach.

As a former teacher, I'd like to give one quick lesson to all those white boyz/girlz out there. Your parents didn't feel they needed to mention this in a post civil-rights society, but since most suburban, white 80's/90's babies bought millions of rap CDs, wore oversized pants whose crotches grazed their knees and attended many concerts headlined by black gangsta culture afficionados/rappers, etc. you need to hear this.

IF YOU ARE NOT BLACK, IT IS NOT COOL TO CALL BLACK PEOPLE RACIST NAMES. I know Snoop Dog, Nelly, ODB, Kanye West etc. use that language BUT if you are NOT BLACK you DO NOT USE THE LANGUAGE.

Sure, I listen to Kanye West's "Gold Digger" (the "Explicit" iTunes version which drops the N-bomb about 200 times) in the New York City subway. ie. "Now I ain't saying she's a Gold Digger, but she ain't playin' with no broke (N-bomb plural)." As a conservative-looking 39 year-old white woman in a cashmere twin-set and pearls, that garners me alot of surprised glances from people who have the misfortune to sit next to me and overhear my iPod selections. However, when I catch the eye of the black Grandmother from the Abyssinian Baptist Church in Harlem, I immediately apologize and switch over to Justin Timberlake's SexyBack (or some other "Harmless White Song With Too Much Synthesizer").

The N-bomb, while enjoyable for Kanye West to use over and over (and over) again - given that he is a post civil-rights baby - still stings the Grandmother. Yes, it still stings, even though this is a rap song sung by a black, former college student who has made millions of dollars off of this song (and that word). Ladies and Gentlemen, if you are not black, you do not use the N-Bomb and you do not refer to black women with terminology used by black rappers. Yes, you have freedom of speech. Yes, you have license to say anything that you want. However, that will not protect you from the beat down that will be visited upon you by black, white, yellow and beige people who recognize that you are just hiding behind the First Amendment as a cover for overt hate language and inveterate racism.

White parents, it is your responsibility to teach the proper utilization of language and racial respect to your children. My nephew is black. I do not want him to grow up afraid to make something of his life because he doesn't want to be targeted by some shock-jock hiding behind the First Amendment to conceal inveterate hate language. Someday, your grandchildren or great-grandchildren or great-great grandchildren could be black or beige or yellow. Do you really want them to be subject to this kind of racist commentary? Let's end this bullshit now.