I'm German-American/Czech-American and my brother and sister are German -American/Hungarian-American. When I read this on "The Glory of Carniola Blog" (Slovenian Blog), I almost split my sides laughing because MANY of the items are extremely accurate when pertaining to second generation Americans of Eastern (and European) ancestry.
For example, who will ever forget Eliza-the-Obsessively-Perfect's father and I chugging Slivovich at Christmas? How can we forget about Hurka in all of it's glorious liver, blood and intestinal manifestations? Remember he pilgrimages to the Hungarian butcher (Toth's) in New Brunswick which were part biology lessons part gourmand offal tours? How can we forget getting dragged out of bed every Saturday morning, at the crack of dawn, to conjugate verbs of illegitimate germanic descent. As for my brother and sister, ten years of enforced Hungarian folk dancing school, and they groove to an accordian at the slightest provocation. Very funny!
From: http://www.carniola.org/2007/04/35-facts-about-slovenes.htm
Here they are:
1. Slivovica cures everything from a stomachache to paper cuts.
2. You are well acquainted with “sarma” (cabbage rolls)
3. You eat everything with “ajvar” (eggplant spread)
4. Your profanity consists of Croatian and Serbian phrases because Slovenija is too pure to have swear words. (Substitute any neighboring country of Hungary and Germany for Croatian and Serbian)
5. There is nothing gross about blood sausages (krvavice). (or Hurka!)
6. Drinking with your parents is normal. (and encouraged - especially when you are buying!)
7. Your relatives, especially in Slovenija, do not believe in opening the car windows on a sweltering hot day because of “prepih” (drafts).
8. When outside of Slovenia, you fight an irresistible urge to kiss the person you’ve just shaken hands with. (it is still embarassing when I lunge after my non-European friends post-handshake and plant one on them - it was drilled into us every Sunday to do this when meeting fellow Church members)
9. You’re not allowed to leave the house with damp hair because you’re going to become bolan(a) (sick).
10. You have to wear copate (slippers) around the house, even if you have carpeting and it is 95 degrees outside. (My mother still insists upon this)
11. Your family makes their own vino, medica, or Slivovica. (We made wine in our basement - in freaking New Jersey!)
12. You never got to sleep in on Saturday because you had Slovenska Sola (Slovenian School)
(...or German School)
13. Mami is always making you eat.
14. You know how to dance polka and you’re proud of it.
15. Someone in your family can play buttonbox or accordion and is always bothering you to learn. (Our family comes from the one tiny town in Germany that actually makes the damn things so we have 20 in our attic)
16. You’ll still drink Cockta to please your family in Slovenija even though it makes you sick to your stomach (their version of Coca-Cola) (we had Almdudler - Austrian Soda)
17. English verbs are acceptable if used with the ending “-ati”, which makes them Slovenian: “play-ati”, “study-ati”, “clean-ati”, or the best one “walk-ati” - pronounced: vakati!
18. At the age of 13 you are only allowed to go out of town with your friends for folklore festivals, drinking binges, and dances.
19. Your parents were at the party where you first got drunk and maybe even offered you a drink. (We call that "Christmas," "Easter," and "Thanksgiving")
20. Then they waited until the ride home to beat the crap out of you for getting drunk and embarrassing them.
21. The majority of your friends are also your relatives, even if they aren’t your relatives; because you refer to their parents as “teta” and “stric“. (aunt and uncle)
21. “Kuhovnice” (wooden spoons) are not only used for stirring when cooking… they are also used by mami to beat you when there is no “Siba” (stick) handy.. (So true, nowadays, I'd be able to call NJ DYFS)
22. At least once you’ve told your parents that you’ll call the police to report “child abuse” and your parents said “Ja! Samo probaj…” (just try!)
23. Lunch on Sundays has more courses than Amerikanci have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner.
24. Your 13 year old sister can out-drink any Amerikan’c or Irishman. (and still does)
25. You love “Golaz”, (beef stew) but don’t like bringing it to school or work for lunch because you’d be embarrassed if someone asked you what it was.
26. Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand. (Meat is more than a food group - it is a lifestyle)
27. All other action stops when you hear people speaking Croatian or Serbian somewhere. (shrug - I have no frame of reference here.)
28. You smell garlic or alcohol on the old man’s breath behind you sitting on the pew in church on Sunday mornings. (we went to St. Ladislaus-nuff said)
29. You never got the “Birds and the Bees” talk from mami or ati when growing up.
30. You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland for a minimum of 4 weeks.
31. Your relatives alone can populate a small city. (and still do, in several different countries)
32. You’ve worked in the “Stale” (barn) at your relatives house in Slovenia and the cow smell didn’t even bother you. (we worked at the expatriated family lodge in the Catskills)
33. (left blank)
34. You think mixing Coke and red wine (bambus) is an extremely tasty drink. (Germans and Hungarians drink mighty weird things, let me tell you...)
35. You’re still laughing your ritka off because you know every single one of these are true.
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